Fan Fiction: Return of the Jedi v2 – A Film Re-imagined

NOTE: This is a basic story outline or treatment with an incredibly sparse use of dialogue. I’ve tried to use as many characters and sequences that appear in the original 1983 Return of the Jedi film as possible, just placed elsewhere and under different circumstances. There are three planets that are visited in the text but are not named properly (instead being referred to simply as “Planet One” “Planet Two” and Planet Three” respectively) as I thought taking it upon myself to name things would be more confusing than not, plus I didn’t want to use Expanded Universe or prequel terminology. Last but not least, please keep in mind that this has been done only for fun and as a “what if” exercise, so be nice.

Right.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…

THE ADVENTURES OF LUKE SKYWALKER
RETURN OF THE JEDI
As taken from THE JOURNAL OF WHILLS

SCENE 01

The Super Star Destroyer Executor arrives in orbit around the Emperor’s homeworld Had Abaddon and a shuttle descends into a vast fortress. Within the fortress walls the shuttle continues to descend down into the cavernous bowels of the planet where the Emperor’s sumptuous lair lies safely amidst rivers of lava.

Darth Vader exits the shuttle with his second in command Admiral Piett and they meet the Emperor, who is now weak and feeble; surrounded by medical staff and aids, including the venal Grand Moff Jerjerrod.

Vader bids them all to leave – including Piett – and he and the Emperor are left alone.

Vader explains to the Emperor that his hold over the galaxy has been drastically weakened by the destruction of the Death Star, a fact he seems unaware of due to his aids shielding him from the truth after the space station’s obliteration by the rebels.

The Emperor accuses Vader of failing to acquire Luke Skywalker, a potentially powerful ally, and goes so far as to accuse Vader of plotting against him.

Vader makes a subtle hand gesture and the room fills with Piett and a garrison of stormtroopers. Vader murders the old, decrepit man with his cold, black, robot hands. The witnesses are stunned into silence.

Vader commands Jerjerrod to act as an interim leader while the Empire is dismantled.

On their way back to the shuttle. Vader instructs Piett to sack the palace and throw the Emperor’s aids into the rivers of lava. When asked “And what then?” Vader replies that it is to be made public that the Emperor is dead and his Empire at its knees so that the rebels attempt to converge on Had Abaddon to take control. “And what then, my lord?” Piett asks again, Vader replies “They will not make it this far.”

SCENE 02

The rebels receive word that the Emperor is dead and make plans to move on Had Abaddon, but Princess Leia is unsure, offering the alternative theory that maybe it is a trap. Admiral Ackbar and Mon Mothma dismiss her fears.

Threepio conveys spy data that reveals the Emperor’s fortress on Had Abaddon is now under siege from rebel-friendly forces, however a strong Imperial fleet is still in orbit around the planet and remain in charge on the ground.

Admiral Ackbar lays out their plan to travel from system to system gaining extra support and manpower before their final march on the Imperial fortress.

SCENE 03

On Tatooine we find Lando Calrissian and Chewbacca poised ready to intercept Han Solo’s frozen body in Jabba’s possession.

Suddenly the palace is attacked by Imperial forces and there is much chaos and destruction. Lando and Chewie fight for their lives.

Darth Vader appears and uses The Force to wrap a chain around Jabba’s great neck and choke him to death. He has everyone else – including Lando and Chewie – taken as prisoners. Boba Fett appears from the shadows and attempts to attack Vader but he is struck down and killed by Vader’s lightsaber.

Vader stands before the frozen body of Han Solo, contemplating his next move.

SCENE 04

Luke arrives back at the rebel fleet with Artoo and tells Leis that he found Jabba’s palace destroyed. The rendezvous with Lando and Chewie never took place as they were nowhere to be found. Han’s body was also not found and Luke presumed it to be buried under the rubble of Jabba’s palace.

Threepio and Artoo bicker about Artoo not finding Han Solo.

Leia accuses Luke of not trying hard enough to find them and they briefly argue, but soon they temper their emotions and embrace.

Leia tells Luke that the fleet is going to head for Had Abaddon now that the Emperor is apparently dead. Luke offers her the opportunity to go with him to search elsewhere for their friends. She refuses, citing her commitment to the rebellion. Luke agrees to go along… for now.

In private, Luke attempts to call out to Obi-Wan Kenobi or Yoda, but all is silent. He is visibly weary and ashamed of leaving his training so early and looks to his robot hand as a reminder.

SCENE 05

The rebels arrive at PLANET ONE where many POWs are kept on a prison sail barge. The rebels, including Luke and Leia, storm the barge and free the prisoners, who agree to join them in their march on Had Abaddon.

Amongst the prisoners they find Lando and Chewie, who tell Luke and Leia of Darth Vader attacking Jabba’s palace. When asked what became of Han Solo, Lando and Chewie admit they do not know.

Leia is distraught and begins to believe that all hope is lost for finding her beloved.

SCENE 06

On the Executor, it is revealed that Vader has now thawed out Han Solo and is keeping him in a trance-like state. Vader reprograms Han using a combination of hypnosis and The Force, giving him instructions to return to the rebel fleet and assassinate the high command, including Leia, Ackbar and Mothma.

Piett asks Vader if Han will betray them once he is back with the rebels. Vader assures him that Han will have no knowledge of his reprogramming or any memory of having been on the Executor.

SCENE 07

On PLANET TWO the rebels recruit the native, oppressed populace into helping them attack an Imperial communications installation on the planet that operates as an early attack warning system for Had Abaddon.

Here they send false signals to the Imperial fortress informing them that all is well.

SCENE 08

Piett informs Vader that they are getting conflicting reports of events on PLANET TWO. He also tells Vader that Han Solo has been delivered to the required location.

Vader is satisfied with both pieces of information.

SCENE 09

While celebrating their victory on PLANET TWO the rebels find Han Solo, seemingly by chance, in a bar as he is talking to the locals. He claims that he escaped from Jabba single-handedly, took revenge on Boba Fett and is now using Slave 1 to search for the whereabouts of the Millennium Falcon, which he believes has been sold for scrap.

Leia confides to Luke that she is hurt that Han does not remember their romantic relationship prior to his being put into carbon freeze. Luke shares with her that Han’s story does not hold water and finds it hard to believe that he would prioritise revenge over returning to his friends and loved ones.

They both agree to keep an eye on him.

SCENE 10

In seclusion Darth Vader makes psychic contact with Han Solo to learn properly of the fall of PLANET TWO and the rebels’ plans. During the link Han asks Vader what course of action he is to take next. Vader tells him to just remain undetected for now.

SCENE 11

On PLANET THREE the rebels arrive to arrest the fleeing top ranking Imperial officials who are making their getaways via a massive spaceport.

There is a speederbike chase involving Luke, Leia and wanted officials.

The captured officials tell of the mass execution of the Emperor’s entourage on Had Abaddon and that Vader will not be found there.

Leia asserts her belief to the rebel high command that it maybe a trap. They begin to believe her and choose to approach their final target with caution.

Han, Chewie and Lando find the Millennium Falcon at the spaceport and steal it back in a light-hearted sequence intended to show Han integrating back in well with the rebels and his friends.

SCENE 12

Darth Vader receives a message from Jerjerrod that the fortress on Had Abaddon is still under his control but he is receiving requests by the rebels to surrender. Vader tells him to maintain silence and the integrity of the fortress.

Vader also tells Jerjerrod to expect a mysterious shipment very soon, which he is to handle with extreme caution and proceed with the instructions that arrive with it.

Vader discusses the situation with Admiral Piett, who seems annoyed that Vader refuses to disclose his plans with him. He tells Vader that discontent is spreading amongst his men. Vader reassures him that everything is proceeding as he has foreseen it and that Piett is to execute traitors or anyone spreading malcontent.

Piett leaves, frustrated.

In another psychic link, Vader instructs Han Solo to illuminate his targets.

SCENE 13

On the rebel fleet Lando and Chewie relax at an onboard bar. They are getting drunk and telling stories. Han, still unaware of Vader’s hold over him, joins the two and they discuss the past, present and future. Lando asks Han whether Leia is “available” to be romanced since Han has not shown any interest in her since returning. Han says he no longer has any interest in Leia romantically.

Chewie becomes suspicious.

Han asks where both Luke and Leia are and Lando tells him they are in conference with the rebel high command planning the invasion. Han leaves the bar, to the bemusement of both Lando and Chewie.

SCENE 14

With their guard down Luke, Leia, Ackbar and Mothma are attacked by Han. A fight ensues. Lando and Chewie, having sensed something is wrong with Han, appear and join in the battle. Leia is badly injured in the chaos – but not directly by Han. Eventually Chewie overpowers Han and then Luke uses The Force to break Darth Vader’s programming of him.

During Luke’s searching of Han’s mind he and Vader have a brief exchange. Vader taunts Luke about being his son. Luke calls him a liar and a manipulator. before banishing him from Han’s mind for good.

Han, completely back to how he was before being frozen, has the romantic reunion with Leia that she has been waiting for.

When asked what he remembers about his conversations with Vader, Han honestly admits to not remembering anything.

SCENE 15

As Vader’s psychic link with Han is broken, he awakens to find himself surrounded by Admiral Piett and a host of stormtroopers.

Piett announces his intention to mutiny and surrender to the approaching rebel fleet now that the Emperor is dead and the Empire crumbling.

Vader, outnumbered even with his evil powers, simply says “As you wish, Admiral” and is taken into custody.

SCENE 16

The rebels receive word from the Executor of the Empire’s willingness to surrender, citing a military coupe by Admiral Piett. Piett informs them that Darth Vader is in his custody and that Jerjerrod on Had Abaddon is under orders to meet them to discuss peace terms.

Leia, Ackbar and Mon Mothma agree to go down to the planet as a peace envoy, with Luke there as their bodyguard and Threepio as an interpreter if needed.

Mothma is concerned that Leia is not well enough after the battle with Han Solo, but the plucky young princess asserts her determination to join them.

SCENE 17

A rebel unit, headed by Lando Calrissian, arrive on the Executor. Admiral Piett releases Darth Vader into their custody and agrees to comply fully with the rebels’ wishes, assuring them that they will find no resistance amongst the Imperial crew.

SCENE 18

Luke, Leia, Ackbar, Mothma and Threepio leave the rebel fleet in a shuttle and head down to the fortress on Had Abaddon.

SCENE 19

Now in custody on the rebel ship, Darth Vader is mocked and taunted by Han Solo and Chewie, who play cards and joke in front of their silent captor.

There is an open communications channel allowing Han and Chewie (and us) to hear what is going on over at the Executor and, most importantly, down on Had Abaddon.

SCENE 20

Lando Calrissian is informed by rebel tech staff that Vader had sent down a large, dangerous shipment to Had Abaddon before the fleet’s surrender and that the rebel high command might want to be vigilant on their arrival.

Lando relays this information to Luke over the radio.

SCENE 21

Down on Had Abaddon Luke, Leia, Ackbar, Mothma and Threepio are escorted through the Imperial fortress and down into the bowels of the planet where the meeting will take place.

The halls and corridors down here are vast and seemingly endless. It must have taken years for it to be carved or blasted out.

Everyone is on guard.

Luke receives a message on his radio transmitter from Lando and acknowledges it.

Suddenly there are screams from another room. Imperial staff turn a corner and run past our heroes towards the exit in terror as… a RANCOR monster appears and charges towards Luke, Leia, Ackbar, Mothma and Threepio. Luke tells his comrades to flee except for Threepio who he uses as a diversion as he battles the rancor single-handedly.

A fight between the budding jedi and enormous beast ensues.

SCENE 22

Han is distracted by the commotion down on the planet, which gives Darth Vader his opportunity to break his shackles, subdue his captors and head for a shuttle to escape.

Han and Chewie go in hot pursuit.

SCENE 23

Luke kills the rancor and order is restored.

SCENE 24

Han and Chewie chase Darth Vader using the Millennium Falcon. Both ships fly down to the fortress on Had Abaddon and into its immense, labyrinthine substructure.

Vader and his shuttle are destroyed as he converges on our heroes as they stand over the rancor’s body – a feat achieved through a combination of Han and Chewie’s piloting and Luke’s use of The Force.

SCENE 25

Our heroes part ways.

Leia is to stay on Had Abaddon to help supervise the dismantling of the Empire; Lando is to go back to Bespin and reclaim his mining business; Luke is to go back to Dagobah to complete his jedi training as promised; and Han and Chewie are to return to their old life, albeit as honest traders.

There is a romantic parting between Han and Leia, however Han says they will meet again once Leia’s important work on Had Abaddon is complete.

Luke Skywalker flies off into the stars with Artoo in search of new adventures.

THE END

UP NEXT: A COMMENTARY ON THE TEXT

Fan Fiction: Return of the Jedi v2 - An Introduction

I love Return of the Jedi. Although 1977's Star Wars is that "perfect film" that everyone loves and The Empire Strikes Back is the little-sequel-that-could and the series' artistic and dramatic apex, RotJ is "my Star Wars film". By this I mean it was the one I was conscious of as it came out when I was growing up. I was 3 years old. My older brother was bought the toys related to that film, not SW or TESB. When I watch RotJ I feel at home. I remember my childhood. I get warm, fuzzy, ewok shaped feelings.

Unfortunately, from a critical point of view, it is greatly flawed. It does have the best set pieces by far - the swashbuckling sail barge fight, the nailbiting speederbike chase, the breathtaking flight into the Death Star's superstructure - but many fans will agree that some key areas of the film signalled bad things to come.

While the special effects and music are top-notch, the film somehow looks cheap. Not in terms of sets and costumes, which are fine, but in the grainy film stock used and flat, lifeless patina that's a huge step down from TESB's beautiful, layered lighting setups.

Elsewhere the actors look, for some reason, so much older, tired and bored. The dialogue is stilted and lacking the sharp wit and edgy banter of the previous two films, and even though our team of heroes are back together and fighting side by side the chemistry has gone. Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, Threepio and Artoo all go on an adventure together - and we feel nothing. Most importantly, though, the story is a cobbled together, committee driven let down. In the first two films our friends had to get from point A to point B via a couple of stops. Simple. And the clock was ticking or the chase was on. In RotJ, while the clock starts ticking after 45 minutes, there's no real journey. Han is freed from Jabba and then our friends muck around in a forest for an hour with teddy bears.

I understand why RotJ is the way it is, though, and - if I'm right - it's a great shame.

Up until the explosion of the internet TESB was considered "the bad one". Professional critics rated it less than SW and RotJ. This was going on up until the mid-90s when the geeks started taking over the film review business and rebelled against the crusty old naysayers. TESB began to be and is now generally considered the original trilogy's high point. But for a while there it wasn't, and I believe Lucas viewed Irvin Kirshner's film as a failure, which is why RotJ is so "safe". It's back to basics. Han wears his 1977 SW costume, we have ewoks to mimic the "cute" jawas, Darth Vader is back as a mere henchman and there's even another Death Star.

Safe.

But bizarrely, by the end of the film I feel satisfied. I feel happy. I've watched the end of the Star Wars trilogy and I don't want it any other way. Genuinely. It's fine. While the story lacks drive, it still manages to hit a few of the right emotional and excitement buttons. Luckily for us the big, important buttons. But those flaws mentioned above are gaping ones that, if mended, could have made this final instalment a piece of art along with TESB.

So even though, deep down, I don't want RotJ changed, if I were to be Quantum Leaped back into George Lucas' body circa roughly 1981 just after TESB was released and was in charge of making the third film all over again, what would I do differently?

Well, in the form of a basic outline/treatment, maybe something like this...

TO BE CONTINUED...

Podcast: The Whittling Post Digest - Episode 20

THIS EPISODE: JEEVES & WOOSTER, CODEPENDENT LESBIAN SPACE ALIEN SEEKS SAME, ELECTRIC BOOGALOO DOCUMENTARY, PHONE BOOTH, THE LAST LAUGH, THE DEVIL RIDES OUT, SHADOW OF MORDOR, JINGO, DEATHWORLD and MORE!

A roundup of my recent cultural experiences in podcast form! The average adventures of a geek with too much time on his hands. Not to be confused with better, more professional cultural review podcasts, of which there are plenty.