I FEEL LIKE A PRINCESS

Bob’s Burgers - viewing update

Still loving it.

I am now completely obsessed with Louise, the show’s mischievous antagonist. I may even buy a replica of her bunny ears beanie. I’m not sure where I will wear it. I just want one.

I am also now fairly convinced that Bob’s Burger’s is, in reality, a secret spinoff of American Dad, following the adventures of one of Roger Smith’s longterm female personas.

Her name is “Linda”.

Tell me I’m wrong.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Bob’s Burgers

Another show recommended by, well, an ex-friend this time. I’m not very good at maintaining long-term acquaintances. In my defence, I do now warn people in advance.

Anyway…

It’s taken me awhile to try out Bob’s Burger’s, for a few reasons. These reasons are a) the animation style looked hideous to me b) a show about a burger bar was off-putting for some reason and c) the poor UK physical distribution industry meant/means there’s no nice, shiny boxset for me to buy.

I’m a nerd. Nerd’s like collecting stuff.

Well, regardless of the above reasons, I decided to purchase a digital copy of the first season and give it a whirl. I thought this would also help in my recovery from a particularly severe low-mood period. Laughter is the best medicine, after all!

Well, I’m already enchanted by the show’s kookiness and, most importantly, pinch of heart. While I respect comedies like Seinfeld and South Park, their lack of warmth means they rarely get a viewing in my home (although I do own them). Bob and family, however, are proving to have a bit of everything!

Possibly the driving force behind my inextinguishable intention to track down the show is the fabulous Kristen Schaal, who is absolutely on my list of all-time favourite people. Her character, funnily enough, is proving so far to be my favourite. I’d ask why she’s wearing a beanie with bunny ears, but I get that she’s just like that. I just start chuckling every time it cuts to her face.

I was also surprised and delighted to discover H Jon Benjamin voicing the titular character, as I love his work on the Seth MacFarlane shows. He also has a great little cameo in an episode of Parks & Recreation as the city’s nervous attorney.

 

It’s a shame the show features your bog-standard heterosexual-nuclear-family, complete with nagging wife, henpecked husband, and brood of anxiety-inducing children, but this at least has the unique twist of being set amidst a bustling urban environment. In this regard, it reminds me somewhat of the great Hey Arnold!, especially with one of Bob’s daughter’s being prematurely depressed and low-energy.

I’ve actually just forced myself to stop watching for a spell, as I actually want to savour it for as long as possible. Apparently there’s a movie too, so I’ll see if I can get my hands on that.

So, yes, while not quite as “late to the party” as I was with House M.D., I’m still kicking myself for not jumping on the Bob’s Burgers bandwagon sooner.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

FIRST IMPRESSIONS: House M.D.

21 years late to the party and I finally sat down this morning to watch the show that made 100% of British people exclaim: “Wait, who’s made it big in America on a medical drama?! That foppish, gangly comedian from the 80s?!”. Yes, apart from a recommendation by a friend, my only other reason for watching House M.D. is Hugh Laurie. I grew up adoring him as the titular Bertie in Jeeves & Wooster, George (both Prince and Lieutenant) in Blackadder, and one half of A Bit of Fry and Laurie (can you guess which?). While having all the makings of a “posh cunt”, Laurie is always effortlessly loveable, similar to the members of Monty Python, I guess.

So, yes, I wasn’t quite sure how I’d react to this usually-silly man actually being serious for a change. And with a faux-American accent, to boot!

To be honest, I care as much for medical dramas as I do for soap operas and singing contests, which is to say not at all. I suppose I’ve seen a few episodes of E.R. and similar British medical shows, but I’m a sitcom person at heart. Therefore, the only medical show I’ve ever really gotten into is the 90s American sitcom Nurses. I am not ashamed to admit this.

But it is a relief to finally come out about it.

After three episodes of House M.D., I’m finding myself feeling a little cautious. Laurie’s comedy background is helping a great deal with his eccentric character, but some of the interactions he has with coworkers and patients come across somewhat fantastical. I don’t know how things go down in American hospitals, but a man like that really would be escorted off the premises fairly sharply in the UK.

Still, I have the ability to suspend my disbelief, so I’m gonna go ahead and treat (no pun intended) the universe of Dr House as an alternate one to my own. This also speaks for moments when doctors break into patients’ homes to find evidence of their sickness (???), bets being placed on life and death situations, and patients arguing with medical staff about treatment. But, hey, this isn’t reality, this is a medical soap opera.

I was also keen to see this show as I share my name with one of the main characters. This character seems to appear randomly, like an apparition, to have brief moral debates with Dr House. If I was a betting man, I’d say he was the ghostly memory of a dead colleague who forever haunts Dr House. Silly, of course, but that is how the character is presented. I wonder if he was written in at the last minute to provide exposition.

We shall see.

Well, regardless of any concerns or bonkers theories I may have, I’m hooked, so with any luck I shall be posting a follow-up review in a few weeks.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

Inside Out 2 (2024) - film review

“Sadness, do you copy?!”

Nothing focuses the attention quite like having to sit around all day waiting for a parcel delivery. To be fair, I would have been sat around all day anyway, but I’d be coming at it from a totally different headspace. The item due to arrive is just a neck pillow, something I only found out existed when I first saw Amy Poehler wearing one in an episode of Parks and Recreation.

Speaking of Amy Poehler…

I picked the above bland header quote because, while a solid sequel to the 2015 original, nothing quite as memorable or heart-wrenching happens, or is said, during this one. At the very least, we get a seemingly-endless series of pale imitations of previous events. Almost like a Toy Story sequel.

Whereas Inside Out 1 featured an interesting set of relatable events in the real world: our human protagonist moving home and having to cope with settling into a new life, 2 lazily settles on a stock television episode plot about a teenager going off to summer camp. Yes, I know it’s technically “hockey camp”, but the difference is negligible. Not having a summer camp culture here in the UK, we can only watch in horror at a social concept of such mind-bending awfulness. Find me a positive summer camp story and I will show you a slave in the Servile Wars who was just happy to get some fresh air as he was nailed to a crucifix along the Appian Way.

Too soon?

So, yes, we’ve seen the events of Inside Out 2 play out a thousand times before, a fact that isn’t helped by the required-retread of the themes of the first film. Most notably, our fantasy heroes are once again locked out of Riley’s brain control room (did I just type that?!) and have to go on an adventure through her mind to put wrongs to right. Only this time, the exploratory scenes are nowhere near as interesting, creative, touching, or funny.

And there’s no Bing Bong.

No Bing Bong means no Richard Kind.

Fuck this movie.

The film’s central premise: that your emotions get oh-so-slightly more complex as you crossover into adolescence, means we get a new set of control room characters that are merely a flip-side of the same coin. Anxiety is linked to Fear. Ennui to Sadness. Embarrassment to Anger. Envy to Disgust. And so forth. Well, not “forth” actually, as that’s pretty much it. Still, while a potentially-interesting concept, it didn’t provide enough drama to keep me invested a second time around.

You see, one of the most frustrating things about being a teenager is that you’re constantly being told by the adults around you to start taking control of your own life and act like an adult, yet you are still not actually given all the rights and powers you need to do so. Consider HAL 9000 in 2001: A Space Odyssey, a computer tasked with dangerously conflicting orders: it must be honest with the crew of Discovery One, but it must also keep a great secret from them. HAL’s eventual solution? KILL THEM ALL!

Cut to debates over gun control in the United States.

As someone who has suffered from severe anxiety their entire life, I do appreciate the notion of Anxiety as a character constantly trying to second-guess what’s about to happen to her young ward. I understand how that feels. Often I’ll get myself extremely worked-up about an event that hasn’t even happened yet. Or may never happen. It’s going on right now, actually. I’m currently too anxious to take my recycling down to the wheelie bins, lest a nosy neighbour confront me about not putting the right items in the right bins. Therefore, my kitchen is now full of bags containing (washed, don’t worry) plastic and tins. My anxiety is groundless, however, as not a single, solitary soul on this estate gives a crap about such things, but that doesn’t stop it controlling my life.

Thus, while Inside Out 2’s attempts at delving deeper into the ideas planted in 1, preteen Riley and tween Riley just aren’t all that different, essentially worrying about the same issues. So, you know, what’s the point?! I guess you could ask that of every single sequel ever made in the history of human culture.

I genuinely believe something more unique happening to Riley outside of her head would have elevated this film significantly, as it’s hard to root for a sportsperson’s petty ambitions. Like a soldier who realises, upon retirement, that they’ve just spent years as a meaningless pawn in their government’s game to protect business interests abroad, as does a sportsperson surely realise, upon their retirement, that they’ve just spent years fighting over a ball to impress a bunch of screaming dimwits. Or, in the case of Inside Out 2, a puck. It must be a truly thankless task, a fact the retiree must only become aware of once they are patted on the back and told: “Thanks, sucker, you succeeded in making everyone but you lots of money! Sorry about the crippling injuries you’ve sustained as a result. Here’s a moulded piece of metal as compensation. Now get lost, your young replacement is here!”. I remember how dejected my father was when the Royal Air Force didn’t throw him a parade with hookers and blackjack when he retired. Forty years of life without the right to free citizenship, all for a sad little cake bought by his civilian coworkers.

Sucker.

Golly, that was a weird rant, wasn’t it?! Anyway, onwards!

I don’t have a solution to Inside Out 2’s by-numbers story problem. At least, not right now as I sit here typing. But I’m sure that, should I go off into another room with a notepad for half an hour, I would return with about twenty better ideas. Well, certainly better than, sigh, yet another summer camp melodrama.

Right, things I did like about Inside Out 2…

1. Tony “Buster Bluth” Hale makes a fine replacement for Bill Hader, an actor apparently either too busy or too proud to accept $100,000 to stand in a vocal recording booth for two days. Nice work if you can get it, huh?!
2. The pretentious video game character made me laugh, as he’s a perfect example of why my eyes glaze over during RPG cutscenes.
3. Anxiety’s final borderline-catatonic breakdown is truly disturbing. In a daring way.
4. Even though it’s not dealt with in the most gripping of ways, just the fact that a mainstream movie for all ages exists that deals with mental health issues is another grand step in the right direction.
5. And, last but not least, the film isn’t terrible.

Minor SPOILER ALERT for just the following paragraph!

I was disappointed that Dark Secret didn’t turn out to be Riley’s budding interest in girls, as I felt there were a few hints at it early on in the film. Oh well, I suppose Disney still needs to sell this junk to countries with institutionalised bigotry.

Go capitalism!

I’m gonna go ahead and predict that 3 will involve Joy and crew managing to escape Riley’s mind and walk about in the real world somehow. I mean, where else do you go with this?! Place your bets now, folks! Perhaps I’ll be true to my threat and write some fan fiction. Anyway, whatever the official writers come up with next, I’ll support their good intentions, regardless of how mediocre the final product is.

But there better be Richard Kind in it.

No Richard Kind = No Jim.

Oh and my neck pillow arrived halfway through writing this review, so I can finally go for my bath and let the stink out.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles! 

Moonstruck (1987) - film review

A film that could just as easily been called “Cosmo’s Moon” or “Three Dates”, but I guess “Moonstruck is… fine. I mean, what do you call a film that really isn’t about anything in particular?! My favourite type of movie, that’s what! In fact, it’s a tone I seek to capture in my own writing, even the action-packed space opera. I just love rambling melodramas. So sue me.

I’ve seen this one before, but a looong time ago. Basically, I had no memory of what it was about before sitting down to the Blu-ray this evening, except for the famous “Snap out of it!” moment, but it really didn’t matter. I was 99% sure I’d only watch a third of it tonight and the rest over the weekend, but I just couldn’t pull myself away.

I’d recommend watching Moonstruck in a triple-bill along with Woody Allen’s Radio Days and Ridley Scott’s Someone to Watch Over Me. Coincidentally, all three were released the same year. Sure, the latter is a violent crime thriller, but it has a similar vibe to the other two. Essentially, they’re all cosy New York films featuring poor immigrant families who experience a taste of “how the other half live”. Those aren’t the plots you’ll read on the back of the boxes, of course, but more a meta-theme.

How the fuck do you cheat on Loraine Bracco?! Go figure.

It’s always a treat seeing Olympia Dukakis, without a doubt the sexiest woman who ever lived, with every one of her sarcastic looks and dry one-liners being just delightful. I was genuinely surprised to see John Mahoney in there, who rides the line between womanising scumbag and lonely romantic perfectly. But, hey, all the best Americans were born in the UK: Mahoney, Cary Grant, Veronica Cartwright, Slash, Paul Banks, Delroy Lindo.

Count ‘em!

My long-suffering neighbours probably heard me laugh out loud several times, no less during the final dinner scene where Nicholas Cage, inviting conflict, casually says to Dukakis: “Yes, Mrs Castorini, I would love some oatmeal!”. I don’t know why I found that so funny, but I think Cage knew exactly what he was doing.

Speaking of that scene, the brief argument between him and Danny Aiello, cast against-type as a spineless mummy’s boy, reminds me of an argument I am long-overdue to have with one of my own brothers. With me being Nicholas Cage, of course.

Did you really had to ask?!

I’m sure Moonstruck was buried in Oscars and truly deserving of them. It’s a film that sucks you into its own little brownstone world and ends long-before you want it to. Where did those 101 minutes go?!

Watch. Love. Eat.

And, yes, I realise I just wrote a review of Moonstruck without once mentioning Cher. So what?! I once reviewed Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! without mentioning boobs. You try that.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

Lilo & Stitch (2002) - an emotional reaction

“…if you want to leave, you can.

I’ll remember you, though.

I remember everyone that leaves.”

Just working my way through this initially-underacted Disney film from 2002. I remember it being a bit of a flop and not well-liked by critics, but I decided to give it a go as it seems to have developed a warm cult following over the years.

While I am struggling greatly with the film’s colour palette due to my poor eyesight (hence the lack of a formal review), the story about being a social outcast and finding it hard to make long-lasting connections with people certainly does strike a chord with me. It also slightly-subverts the notion of “family”, a term which, along with “tradition”, I believe to be one of the most dangerous words in the English language.

The above header quote is particularly close to my heart, as friends and family continually run for the hills because of my complicated personality. I believe imprisoned violent sociopaths in solitary confinement get more patience and understanding than a depressed alcoholic such as myself.

Even though I’m sure they do their best to forget me, I sadly remember everyone that leaves.

Do stay in touch, darlings. Or not. I’ll understand if you never look back.