PIXOTE (1980)
Director: Hector Babenco
Cinematographer: Rodolfo Sánchez
Worryingly, it feels indicative of my collapsing mental health that the world depicted in this film now feels somewhat positive.
Being a paranoid shut-in becoming more and more sceptical of the government and people around him, I bizarrely yearn for a breakdown of public services and order.
I’ll end up naked and starving in a ditch with cuts and bruises on my body, but at least I won’t be ravaged by letters and phone calls and text messages and emails about bureaucratic nonsense each day.
Crazy, huh?
Pixote is notable, not just for its graphic depictions of poverty, but for life-imitating-art. It’s diminutive star eventually turned to a life of crime and was allegedly murdered in the street by corrupt police, like a rabid dog.
The image of a child only able to smile and laugh whilst getting high is one of many that will surely touch the soul. This moment in particular echoes my own existence these days, as I consume box after box of cheap cider and wine. You know, just to feel something and forget everything.
Pixote is a vision of the free but grimy side of life, with the film’s patina matching its theme. Or perhaps it’s just my deteriorating eyesight at play. I’m too disabled to be free anymore, with my dependancy on handouts leaving me with a sense of impending dread 24/7. When will I finally get that letter taking away my home and livelihood?! They threaten it enough. I just want to be left alone, but that’s far too much to ask in our “caring” society that wants to fix everything, whether we like it or not.
The more I push my door closed, the more they try to push it back open.
According to some, the AI apocalypse is on the way, so I guess I’ll see you all in the wasteland. Maybe then I’ll be able to make some friends and have a sober laugh and maybe even find love. The internet certainly isn’t good for that anymore.
Yikes, I really need to speak to my doctor, don’t I?!
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
