Sucker Punch – film review

I can’t bring myself to watch Sucker Punch a second time, even though I feel I should give it a second chance. It’s probably the thought of what I’ll have to endure: that arthritic opening sequence which is as confusing as it is slow; the two dimensional portrayal of all men being slimy potential-raping monsters; the final payoff which is neither surprising, interesting, satisfying nor logical in a narrative sense.

One thing I did like about Sucker Punch which nobody else seemed to like was the dream sequences. Wonderful. If writer/director Zach Snyder could have just made an alternate reality themed sci-fi adventure about of team of sexy babes fighting monsters in different periods of history and on different planets then great, fantastic, I would have watched it over and over again until my eyes got bored of the scenery. It would have been the perfect cross between an episode of Doctor Who and a Pussycat Dolls music video. The dream sequences, or dance sequences, or flights of fancy or whatever the hell they’re meant to be are the sort of moments in cinema that inspire me to write and create more than anything else. They break the mould of what you think you can or can’t do within a fictional framework and gives you something astoundingly beautiful to watch in the mean time. Yes, the sequences are like computer games, but in the best possible way.

But then we come crashing back down to Earth with the tedious “real” story which leaves you wanting to bang each and every characters’ head against the wall for being so utterly stupid.

I didn’t feel bad about the girls being in captivity because they all seemed so daft and willing that they deserved their prison. And the evil club owner and guards? I don’t know, I’m not sure what happened to any of them and, because they’re evil men, I’m not really supposed to care. Apparently there was loads cut out of the film that made it a little more coherent… well I’m sorry but I just don’t believe it, there’s plenty more crap left in that could easily have hit the cutting room floor without anybody noticing. I get the feeling that the trouble started with the script and nobody thought to correct it until so much time and effort had been wasted.

Maybe one day somebody will make an elaborate fantasy science fiction movie that will match the great parts of Sucker Punch and not feel the need to tie it all together with a needlessly convoluted plot about girls in an insane asylum or burlesque. Which plane of reality where they really on? I don’t know and I don’t care. They were mostly all dead or lobotomised by the end anyway so their little fight for freedom was made all the more pointless and so was my time in watching it.

In fact don’t bother watching the whole film, just skip to those dream sequences… honestly, you don’t kneed the rest.

Bah!!

3/5