Okay, I added the “D”, but the studio should have done too. This new Blu-ray release allows you to also watch the film in 2D, so I stuck with that. I assume that attempting to watch a 3D film on a 2D television would bring about the end of the universe, so I wanted to be cautious.
Ah 3D, the gimmick that refuses to stay dead, much like Jason. When will they learn?! Never, I suppose. It’s the genocidal dictator of cinema - human beings will forever keep saying: “Right, this one’s the last one… no more!”.
Until the next one.
I must say, my viewing of this series is now starting to feel like a chore. And I’m not even halfway through. At least this third instalment of the little-respected Friday the 13th franchise has a bit more visual class. While it helps that it’s the first instalment presented in the 2.35:1 aspect ratio, the 3D illusion elements give a sense of forced perspective, even though that’s not what it’s really being used for. Well, I’m calling it “forced perspective”, but I can’t find the actual term. Basically, the film’s close-up and background elements are sometimes both in focus, which is perhaps my most favourite of all visual techniques in cinema. It simply doesn’t get used enough. It usually requires a great deal of lighting or, as in one particular shot in All the President’s Men, a cheeky split-screen cheat.
Golly, I’m only 17 minutes in and I’ve already written this much. Perhaps I shouldn’t be focussing on two things at once.
See what I did there? Ha!
Anyway, if you can believe it, Part 3 has even less plot than the first two. I’m not usually inclined to type out plot summaries, as you can all look them up for yourselves quite easily, but this won’t take long: a group of interchangeable young people stay at a summer camp and get murdered one at a time until one woman remains. Sounds like the first two, huh? Well, you’re right! Everything here is in service of the 3D gimmick. There is no time for plot. If this was a better film, I could say that the rambling pace of the thing has an “Altman-esque” quality to it, but I shan’t. It’s more like a mid-week episode of a soap opera. You know, when there’s no weekend cliffhanger or the payoff to one.
It’s just… so… fucking… boring.
At least the drab late-70s fashions have finally gone, which is certainly something to celebrate.
The acting is at an all time low, I’m afraid, with many genuinely laugh-out-loud moments of awkward dialogue. One actress, I couldn’t tell you her or her character’s name, gets an emotional monologue at one point, which descends into amusing camp. It’s definitely a highlight. What makes things worse, is that this one feels a little shy in terms of nudity, although you do get a few attractive men taking their shirts off. As a bisexual, I didn’t have a problem with this, although at one point I nearly found myself crying: “Somebody just get their boobs out!”. But I didn’t.
What would the neighbours say?!
Oh, we finally get the appearance of Jason’s iconic hockey mask in this one, but since it has no significant impact on the story or quality of the final product, I shall stubbornly refuse to mention it.
Whoops.
In terms of kills, there are far too many fake-outs before actual murders. This starts to work against the film after a while, as I found myself becoming disorientated, forgetting who had really been killed and when. Still, some of the actual murders are fun, even though the 3D gimmick elements are eye-rolling. Literally, at one point. When it’s used randomly, just for fun, it feels like the film is treating you like a pet, playfully trying to amuse you by dangling a piece of string. Probably because it is.
Not a great way to treat an audience.
Perhaps if someone was to make a fan edit, tightening up the awkward editing around the 3D moments, those moments might feel less irritating. Maybe someone already has. Do let me know.
A positive way to consider Friday the 13th Part 3 would be that it presents a slice of pure cinema. It does not exist to service story, dialogue, characters, or acting. Only its visual style and set pieces. Its filmmakers are simply trying something out. I guess you could argue that they succeeded, even if it’s all at the expense of the audience’s enjoyment. But at least they tried. So, in that respect, one could possibly go so far as to call it a significant work of art, which I think is fair.
It’s still fucking boring though.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
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