I’ve been somewhat put-off purchasing this classic-era Godzilla boxset, as the price is/was rather daunting. But, hey, I’ve bought worse things for more in my life, so what the Barrow-in-Furness*! What turned up was a great relief, as the films are beautifully presented in an LP-sized hardback book. One could argue that your average hardback book and a small stack of discs doesn’t cost over £100, but I’m not in the mood today to go down that road. This is meant to be a joyful post about giant monsters wreaking mass destruction on the human race!
*a colloquial UK term for “hell”
Tragically, my only experience of Godzilla, thus far, has been its innumerable and tiresome parodies, the Roland Emmerich film (which I very, very secretly didn’t mind all that much, but please keep that to yourselves), and the dour one we were all duped into believing Bryan Cranston was the star of.
FFS.
So, with my series of Gamera posts not yet finished, here is my attempt at attacking the films that created one of the silliest genres in cinema history! And, yes, I’m including the complete works of director Paul WS Anderson in that.
GODZILLA (1954)
Damn, I so wanted to watch this series with the cheesy English dub on, since that’s what they’ve become most beloved for. How upset I was, therefore, to discover Criterion believe westerners are now above such frivolity. Is it offensive to have something translated for you now?! Nothing would surprise me. Sigh. Without an eyesight decent enough to deal with subtitles anymore, I plowed on regardless, with only the language of cinema to guide me! Boy-oh-boy, was I charmed by this utterly sweet little film. Never has a disaster epic felt so cosy. I was aware that Godzilla 1 was suppose to act as a metaphor about Japan being nuked and firebombed to Barrow-in-Furness by vengeful Americans, but that doesn’t hit the viewer until the second half. And when it hits, it hits hard. The scenes of refugees in hiding and dying are just as harrowing, if not more, than they would be in an actual war film. What was unique in 1954, in terms of building up the suspense of impending disaster, has now become the template for all such films that followed. Scientists and the military have a handful of head-scratching scenes, but these are mercifully few and far between. Without knowing the full story, I believe a seedy backstreet scientist, let’s call him: “Evil Eyepatch Dude”, comes up with the final solution to Japan’s little Godzilla problem. Then, in true Bruce-Willis-in-Armageddon” fashion, our super-cute male hero sacrifices himself for the greater good. By this point, Akira Ifukube’s pounding adventure score has segued into something more akin to Vaughan Williams, with my heart skipping a beat at regular intervals. Although that may just be to do with my failing health. I actually would love a fancy vinyl copy of this soundtrack, even though I don’t own a record player. It’s alright, I get by on my looks. I’ll never know what the woman screams at when Evil Eyepatch Dude gives her a tour of his laboratory, twice, but I assume it’s related to his final solution. My favourite early attack scene, which all wisely keep Godzilla fairly hidden, is the one at the Hawaiian lu’au. All the characters ignore the first two rumbles of Godzilla’s immense footsteps, which is eerily similar to how people would fail to react in real life. I’d make comparisons to actual events, but I want to keep this post as upbeat as possible. Well, this has been a great, promising, and beautiful start! Things will, no doubt, go downhill from here on, with the law of diminishing returns being the nature of the giant beast, but I shall certainly keep an open mind!
GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN (1955)
We’re back! I dearly hope you appreciate stock footage of a pontoon plane flying around for 80 minutes, folks, as you’re about to get a lot of it! My best guess is, again using only the language of cinema as a guide, is that Raids Again deals with the fallout from the last film. The government is still searching the watery archipelago of Japan for survivors from Godzilla’s previous rampage, only to discover there are more giant monsters! And then Godzilla returns… somehow! Oh how many exclamation marks can one fat homo put in one blog post?! Quite a few, it seems. This is the first “versus” movie, with G-Dog fighting a giant armadillo. Or something. There’s a brief subplot about prisoners escaping transfer, but I never did catch how that ended. Did they get stomped on?! Answers on a postcard! The filmmakers had not yet caught onto the practice of shooting the giant monster fight scenes at a faster frame rate to simulate weight, so these moments end up looking like home movies of cute kittens scrapping next to their owner’s toy collection. Bless. Saying that, the filmmakers had figured out to replace the audio of firecrackers been thrown at the monsters with the sounds of larger explosions. Although I was fine with the firecracker audio, tbh. There isn’t the traumatic war imagery of the previous film; instead, this one feels more like a quaint 1930s Frank Capra fairytale. I have no problem with this. Godzilla now seems less keen to destroy mankind and more interested in just lurking about seeing what’s what. Who knows why. Eventually, our titular kaiju ends up hanging out peacefully in a quiet canyon, only to be pestered to death by the government. I feel it’s pain! I have no memory of the music from this one, so that’s a tragic failing. Still, it’s very sweet and harmless, so definitely worth watching when you need a pick-me-up. I’m guessing, unlike Gamera, there will be no precocious little boys going on space adventures to encounter sexy space-babes in this series, so I’ll take what I can get.
Well, that’s all for now, methinks. I’ll approach Godzilla two at a time, as that’s all I have the energy for at the moment.
I suffered a relapse over the weekend with whatever’s been ailing me of late. I now suspect it to be tonsillitis, which I had 16-years-ago, but the NHS only treated it that time with antibiotics. A return has always been on the cards. The persistent sore throat, aching limbs, and spiralling mental health sure has reminded me of that horrid month back in 2010. Still, today has felt like a march towards recovery, hence my feeling able to watch a couple of unfamiliar movies, write some words about them, and stay sober throughout.
It’s the little things, you know?
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
Visit Barrow-in-Furness: https://visitbarrow.org.uk
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