Upon sitting down to plan this final post, I struggled to come up with a narrative hook on which to hang my, erm, critical thoughts. I even initially suspected that I’d picked the wrong album, wondering whether I’d need to go back through all of Kinderen voor Kinderen’s 1990s output to find what I really was after. Things come in threes, after all, so it’s not like I could just end my discussion after two albums!
That would surely torment us all with nasty OCD headaches forever and ever.
In 1965, back when rock was young, Bob Dylan managed to piss-off a planet’s worth of sensitive folk music enthusiasts by doing what he bloody-well wanted. He released Bringing It All Back Home, which was half-electric blues rock stompers and half-esoteric acoustic ballads. So, yes, I am comparing a Dutch power-pop album that nobody’s ever heard of to Bob Dylan’s Bringing It All Back Home. But, hey, whoever remembers anything about Dylan “going electric”?!
Cough.
To weigh this post down further with yet another cultural reference, 32 years after Dylan’s controversial-but-groundbreaking album came a little movie by the name of “Titanic”. It was both the worst movie ever made, due to its infantile screenplay, and the best movie ever made, due to its staggering recreation of the sinking of the titular cruise liner. Men hated it. Women pulled their cars over to weep when they heard its promotional single, Celine Dion’s… oh you know what the damn thing’s called! Anyway, the rest of the film’s soundtrack is sprinkled with Celtic tones and rhythms, due to the ethnic diversity aboard the doomed boat, which I believe heavily inspired 20’s production. Everyone alive in 1997 now involuntarily thinks of James Cameron’s sweet money maker (I mean the box office busting film!) whenever they hear traditional Celtic folk music.
Don’t lie, I know you do too.
2 years later… I’m getting there, folks!… we come to Kinderen voor Kinderen’s annual album to soundtrack its live television dance extravaganza, the latter I can take or leave, which surely would have had mealy-mouthed northern lads in England shouting: “Judas!”, had it taken place at Manchester’s Free Trade Hall back on 17 May 1966. Actually, the structure of KvK’s 20 follows that concert quite well, with Dylan’s crowd-pleasing folk numbers coming first, rather than Bringing It All Back Home’s swaggering first half.
I’m not saying the two halves of 20 are the wrong way around, like David Lynch’s Mulholland Drive (which comprises the two pilot episodes of an unrealised TV series presented in reverse order), but I shall quietly place that notion on the table for you, patient reader, to consider. However, for this album, I have decided to discuss the usual opening “Tune Kinderen voor Kinderen” track (which I suspect potential producers record as an audition piece for the larger work), as “Nix” is something of an underwhelming start.
“Tune” is just meant to kick-off the live show, which is why I perhaps-cruelly disregard them in all my KvK discussions. It’s a rather blah song, but 20’s does feel a little more anthemic than usual, with the quality of the drum parts having been paid particular attention to. There’s also a nice spooky dip in the fussy goings on towards the end, which means the vocal crescendo, involving all the singers in the line-up for that year cheering, hits the ear stronger.
00:59 seconds after the start of the album, “Nix” bounces into view with a playground-swing tempo and decidedly minor-key verse melody. The accordion and violin parts boost my Titanic-inspiration theory, while also bolstering the “New Acoustic Movement” sound of the late-90s/early-00s. In English, “nix” translates to: “nothing”, which is something of a drag in itself, with the title echoing from left-to-right in the stereo pan as the song stumbles to a close. I personally think it’s a lovely song, but why it technically opens the album is quite beyond me.
I know I said I didn’t support prominent wind instruments in pop/rock music, but the clarinet or oboe which dominates “Sleutelkind” works tremendously well. The whole thing is the musical equivalent of sinking into a warm bath on a cold day. It also has one of my favourite musical ideas, in which the backing vocalists seem to run out of stamina, leaving the lead singer to complete the choruses alone. I don’t know how to describe it any better, but I love it all the same.
There’s a prestigious history of fun Halloween songs in KvK’s repertoire (golly, it took ages finding out how that word is spelled!), or just “spooky songs”, of which “De Weg Naar School” is certainly one of the spookiest. Its minimalist jazz drums and lurking double bass rhythm are perfect accompaniments to an anxious boy’s 10-minute walk to school every day. The backing vocals even turn on him, emitting ghostly moans and groans, until the song bursts into a desperate run for safety. But even school can be full of “monsters” ready to torment our gentle protagonist.
I feel his pain!
Now “Niet Naar Ierland” is how you start an album! Bright tone. Galloping rhythm. So it being demoted to so far in is something of a shame. Also, its Celtic-vibe is so similar to “Nix” that you will be forgiven for asking: “Wait, haven’t I heard this song already?!”. Honestly, that happened to me. It’s chorus of: “No, no, no! No, daddy, no!”, sung by vulnerable small children, may disturb some listeners. Or make those with a dark sense of humour laugh. It’s your call!
“Ik Zeg Maar Liever Niets” is a fine closer to 20’s first half. It’s very sweet and makes no sudden movements. It belongs on this album and where it sits in the running order. I have nothing more to say to praise or criticise it. What really matters is what follows…
Yes! “Wanneer” finally lights the album up. Not that what has come already has been subpar in any way, it’s just… it’s just… it’s just that “Wanneer” is so-fucking-awesome! And, yes, I am aware I’m using a lot of strong language to essentially discuss children’s music, but you damn well know they would use it too! I’ve tried looking up the song’s lyrics, but without any luck. Perhaps they’re just too raw for the internet to cope with, or maybe that’s just the current heatwave in the UK messing with me. Still, it’s a stomping country rock anthem about a kid wanting… something. Who knows. Who cares. The melody and vocal performance just make you punch the air and demand attention from your parents or legal guardians or whomever is the alpha in your current relationship.
I don’t dance, not even when I’m on fire, but I dance to “Wanneer”. You will too. I guarantee it!
As with Dylan’s “She Belongs to Me”, which served to placate an incredibly unsure audience, so does KvK’s 20 give its listeners “Anders Dan Je Deckt”, a haunting ballad backed by a modulated keyboard part and nylon-string guitar. It’s drab and repetitive, but it soon gets under your skin and becomes compelling. An understated gem! Fortunately, “Praten, Praten, Praten” yanks the album back onto its feet, with a machine gun dance beat and whiplash-inducing vocals. It should certainly bring to mind images of glowsticks and gratuitous shape-throwing. This is a particular favourite of mine, as the lead vocals gradually become more and more modulated as things progress, until the passionate little boy at the centre of it all ends up sounding like a robot. Fabulous! If this were sung by an adult, this effect might be somewhat chilling, but it’s a kid so it’s cute. I chose this experimental number to open one of my personal KvK playlists, so it’s very significant to me.
“Geen Huis Meer” is a heartwarming, mid-tempo rocker at its most perfect. Certainly the emotional apex of 20’s goings on, although the drumstick/click track beat, mixed way too loudly when it appears, feels much too aggressive for such a mild tune. A mistake they couldn’t be bothered to fix, perhaps?! I dunno, but the Gretsch or Rickenbacker rhythm guitars add to the song’s overall vibrant likability.
While “De Saaiste Vader” descends into silliness on more than one occasion, it still includes one of my all-time favourite vocal melodies and performances. The singer truly deserves to be very proud of their work here. The song’s infectious ska beat and P-90 guitar riff makes it bop along pleasantly, but these lighter elements shouldn’t detract from the song’s broader ambition.
And so the “cuteness factor” is upped considerably with “Kijk Joris Nou”. It has nothing grand to say, musically-speaking, it’s just… cute. You know, in that classic KvK way! It’s also as much of a sonic companion piece to the preceding song as “Nix” is to “Niet Naar Ierland”. One could argue “Kijk Joris Nou” does not need to be here, but it is, and you will love every second of it! As you will with “Rusi”, an immensely entertaining grinder about two girls locked in an argument. I just love it to pieces! It serves as 20’s answer to Dylan’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues”, and a song you definitely shouldn’t listen to whilst driving or operating heavy machinery.
Involuntary grooving will ensue, so beware!
And then we get to an odd choice of a finale. “Met Carnaval” is a wonderful song and would have made a perfect mid-album highlight, but it just doesn’t work at the end. I’d have selected “Rusi” and “Wanneer” as dual-closers myself, but what do I know?! It’s just more proof that, while there isn’t a single dud on 20, its tracklist is something of a mess. Perhaps some gorgeous homo could provide you with a fan tracklist on the side, but we shall have to see…
Well, there we have it, folks! What I assumed would be the shortest of this series of posts seems to have turned into the longest. I’m blaming you, of course. I don’t know how you’re to blame, but I’m going to blame you all the same. This has taken up an entire day of my life to bash out, but I hope you find it has been worth it. I’m sticking with my Bringing It All Back Home comparison, so you’ll just have to come to peace with that.
I shan’t write a fourth post as an epilogue, feeling the introduction and reviews probably speak for themselves, but please feel free to share your thoughts on this trio of great records!
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Doei!
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