The Star Wars Holiday Special

I didn’t quite know how to categorise this post, which is why it remains unclassified.

Sequels weren’t what they were in 1979, in comparison to what they were a decade later and now. Despite the odd exception, they simply didn’t happen. A movie came out, then vanished. I mean, where was it supposed to go?! Home media hadn’t exploded yet, so even some of the greatest films in cinema history became “lost art” for awhile. No, really, look it up.

Technically, the first sequel to George Lucas’ 1977 blockbuster Star Wars is the 1978 novel “Splinter of the Mind’s Eye”, by genre stalwart Alan Dean Foster.

Two years later, still not interested in a sequel to Star Wars, a disinterested Lucas pawned-off creative duties for its cinematic offspring to his university professor, Irvin Kershner, and producer Gary Kurtz. The result was a masterpiece, which sadly was not recognised at the time by critics and cinema goers alike. The fallout of this negative reception was Return of the Jedi, a “back to basics” cash-grab with little creative merit to it, besides its wondrous special effects.

Right, now let’s go back a bit.

I am tragically old enough to remember television variety shows. They were the old guard of antique vaudevillian entertainment. Your grandparents liked them, but you didn’t. In the UK at least, the 1990s would bring regional accents and independent thought into television. Just look up The Big Breakfast and how it shattered Thatcherite England. But, yes, the idea of trying to please everybody in one hour was still going on as of my voice breaking.

This is why I respect The Star Wars Holiday Special.

I’m so, so, so sorry.

Hmm, I feel like I’m saying that a lot these days. Anyway…

Spoiler alert, this was a solid 3 out of 5 experience for me. Regardless of what you may have heard, it is actually very well put together and everyone involved were clearly trying their hardest. Remember, nobody was expecting a multi-decade-spanning franchise at this point. They were just doing their best for the one-off gig they were being paid for. Mark Hamill will forever get points for being a good sport and the best thing in any bad production, so he passes instantly. Shockingly, even Harrison Ford seems to give a crap, and he is now as notorious as Marlon Brando for not giving a crap.

Now this part is important, folks. Not a single human being residing within the United Kingdom of England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland knows who the fuck Art Carney is. He’s clearly an American icon who hasn’t crossed the Atlantic. So, just like James Cameron casting comedian Paul Reiser in Aliens, I came to Art without prejudice. And I found him charming and sexy, adding an interesting new character to the Star Wars universe. If JJ Abrams didn’t reference him somewhere in his subsequent sequels, then for shame!

Carney is essentially the main character for half of The Star Wars Holiday Special, which is fine, then he vanishes. But, do remember, this is not a narrative motion picture with a three-act structure. It’s a television variety show meant to please as many viewers as possible. I would have liked to have seen more of Art, but hey-ho.

A few more acts later and we come to Bea Arthur’s show-stopping performance. I don’t care who you are or where you come from, but I believe we would all be quite willing to sit and watch Arthur playing a Tatooine barmaid morning, noon, and night. Some men like demure, giggling Japanese schoolgirls. Some men like Bea Arthur. A real woman. I’m not even being ironic, I could watch this scenario all-fucking-day. 

The animated segment is good enough to be hailed as a masterpiece of 80s children’s television. It is a shame, therefore, that it came just a few years too early. While its visuals are certainly rushed, I found it engrossing in the nerdiest of ways, and its connection to The Empire Strikes Back is nice and tight. Seriously, they didn’t throw that one away.

The Star Wars Holiday Special is what it is. Again, if you’re expecting a slick movie experience, then you have come to the wrong place. Within the appropriate mindset, however, it is thoroughly entertaining. Will I be swapping Return of the Jedi out for it for future viewings? Hmm, only time will tell. After all, Return of the Jedi hasn’t aged well at all.

Oh and poor Carrie Fisher. Cocaine is a party drug, so she wouldn’t have been snorting it at work, as people claim. Maybe she played up to this myth in subsequent interviews and publications, but she certainly doesn’t come across as “high” onscreen. She was a pro. Have some fucking respect.

May the Force be with you, darlings.

Toodles!