Framed to Perfection XXVIII

CORDERO DE DIOS (2020)

Director: Iván Noel

Cinematographers: Nicolas Acuña Samsón, Iván Noel, Lucas Valederas

A film that indulges liberally in that horrid modern filmmaking fad of having every damn shot be handheld and shaky. There’s a few of these that I’ve had to give up on, having been struck by travel sickness. This is not a joke. And I don’t even get travel sick whilst, you know, travelling.

I’m not sure who started it, but I suspect Christopher Nolan is heavily to blame.

Lamb of God, to give it its English title, is about the priests at a post-WWII Argentinian Catholic boys’ school, who are led astray by their carefree and precocious pupils. With the latter struggling regularly to keep their anachronistic clothes on, to sometimes ridiculous effect. Eventually, a conservative member of the school’s staff snaps and nearly sacrifices one of the boys to the Judaeo-Christian space wizard.

Simple enough.

The film feels like a throwback to the embarrassing, dreamlike hippie epics of the 60s, with the boys having few lines themselves, instead just being choreographed by the director to prance about a lot. There’s no English release, nor will there be until the mean-spirited conservatism of today cools off, as there is enough tender frolicking and graphic skinny-dipping to outrage even the most easy-going of tabloid journalist and “mommy blogger”. That is, after they’ve watched it a few times just to make sure they disapprove.

While the insufferable shaky-cam and plinky-plonk indie piano themes are not for me, there are still plenty of standout beauty shots to make the experience somewhat worth it.

Cough.

The above “picture postcard” moment is a perfect example, as it must have taken some timing to get the light just right. Happy accident or painstakingly planned? You tell me.

Possibly the least realistic experience of school life ever to be captured on film (I don’t remember spooning my classmates as we slept together naked in a big pile, but whatever), yet the pastoral quality of it all makes for pleasant enough escapism. Be sure to track down a copy, if your country allows. Mine had to come from the Netherlands, if that helps.

Just be sure to consume a hearty dose of travel sickness medication first.

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!