I’m struggling a lot with mental health problems at the moment, which is why I’ve been somewhat quiet on the posting front. Saying that, I’m not feeling too bad for having missed two weeks worth of diabetes and antidepressant medication. I’m not adhering to my new low-carb diet at all, the recycling is piling up in the kitchen, and I’ve forgotten what talking to other human beings is like.
I’m just too frightened to leave my nasty little flat, and it seems to be getting worse.
But, hey-ho, I still seem to be absorbing some new culture here and there.
Behold!
46
At first, I felt very dismissive of the new Kinderen voor Kinderen album, which was released last Friday. A few too many songs open with that “rising out of the depths” tone modulation thing, but there are also some amazingly bombastic roof-raisers, that make it all worth it. I’m also warming more to 45, which I believe I have been too harsh about since its release last year. I can’t believe we’re in October already! Where does all the time go, huh?
A WWII FAIRYTALE
A documentary chronicling the insanely-troubled production of Michael Mann’s The Keep. You know things are amiss, when the director of a film has to physically draw special effects onto the footage himself by hand. I caught a few scenes of this horror film as a kid, after which I thought the experience had been a fever dream. I’ve been sort of obsessed with The Keep ever since. There isn’t a decent print available in the UK, as everyone involved has pretty much tried to forget about the whole miserable experience. You know, Alien 3-style. Still, the cast is to die for, and the plot is so potty that it must be seen to be believed. I contributed to the crowdfunding thing for this documentary about a decade ago, with it finally being released this month. I now have a signed copy of the original novel, the Blu-ray of the doc, and a poster (which literally arrived today). Do check out this wonderfully insightful look at a lost cult classic!
FINAL EXIT
You know something’s up when you find yourself buying a pro-euthanasia instruction manual. Well, the audiobook, that is. Of all places, I first heard about Final Exit through MST3K, who make numerous tongue-in-cheek references to it whilst its presenters are being “forced” to watch bad movie after bad movie. I do have a hereditary, degenerative, incurable disease though, which makes every moment of my life a living hell. It is also one of the circumstances the author deems acceptable for such an act. I’m taking the book slow, reading a chapter a night, but I have to stop when I find myself bursting into tears. Damn my conservative religious government for being too afraid to legalise a painless way of escaping the misery of life. I find the notion of one human being telling another human being what they can and cannot do with their own body utterly repugnant. And not allowing those suffering in pain to be able to die with dignity is most selfish of all. Honestly, how black inside do you need to be in order to happily watch those around you suffer?! Your invisible space wizard of choice must surely be the devil of your own choosing. Still, the book is sensitively written and the narrator himself seems to be fighting back tears at certain points. Something of a dark comfort for my tortured soul.
GAMERA
I’ve been trying to get through the seventh Gamera film this week, but, boy-oh-boy, is it a chore! This may very well be the first one I need to watch with the English dub switched on. I mean, I have no fucking idea what’s going on at all! I’ll give it some credit for its abstract quality though. Who knew a film about two giant monsters fighting could be so hard to follow?! It’s pure art through adversity, I’d say.
EROTIC STORY CORNER
I haven’t written any kinky fiction for twenty-or-so years, ever since visual pornography became much easier and safer to access. However, as my isolation keeps getting the better of me, I’ve found my mind racing with romantic fantasies that need putting down on “paper”. I’m planning on opening a separate blog for this stuff, but I thought I’d gauge the response on here first. As usual, there really isn’t any response, but even I would prefer explicit sex to be posted on its own. So, yeah, I shall provide a link to this hypothetical new blog as and when I get round to it.
DEEP DISH PIZZA
I’m not a fan of pizza. There, I said it. I’m that one person who isn’t bothered by them. I get the attraction though, and want so desperately to be onboard, but I have so rarely been satisfied. I’ve even been to Italy and tried the local original, with it not doing the job. However, I believe a great early pizza experience ruined me for all others. I was about 8-years-old and living in Hereford. Back then, there was an independent pizza parlour in the city centre called “The Deep Pan Pizza Co.”, which has since been bought out by, I dunno, a scumbag betting shop or something. I lived in a biological family of five, amidst the crippling rescission of the late-80s, so my experience of pizza thus far was one measly slice of frozen mediocrity. But, for some celebratory occasion (I can’t remember which), the family went to The Deep Pan Pizza Co., where I was presented, for the first time in my young life, with my very own whole pizza. I looked around at my mother and father and two obnoxious older brothers and asked: “Is this all for me?!”. They replied to the affirmative. The pizza stood tall in a cake-like tin, which I remember to this day. I was super-cute back then, finding it very easy to successfully flirt with the waiting and cooking staff, so I’m sure mine was better than anyone else’s around our table. There isn’t much people won’t do for a precocious and camp little boy. Ha! I would like to recreate that culinary experience, so I’m currently in the market for a deep dish pizza pan. Chicago and Detroit seem to compete over who came up with the idea first, so do let me know what product to go for and comment with your brand recommendations below!
Well, I think that’s it for now. I just wanted to air some thoughts that are being weighed down by my deteriorating mind.
We all have our burdens, am I right?!
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
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