It was my birthday last week, hence a little silence from me and unevenly-written posts. I’m amazed I managed to knock out a short story though, which I may go back and tidy up a bit. We’ve also been struck by a pretty nasty heatwave, which is odd for this time of year. Guaranteed, it usually rains on my birthday. Pretty damn hard. But, instead, I’ve mostly been getting out of my mind on cheap wine and cider, thanks to the soaring temperature making neighbours pour out into the street like rats to be happy and enjoy the comfortable weather with their families and friends.
FFS.
Never has my white noise playlist been used so consistently. Even now, the bastard downstairs is blaring his music at full volume. I once heard a different neighbour sat out on their balcony listening to music at a reasonable volume, which shocked me. I was all like: “Oh right, it is about the volume and not the music! This isn’t obnoxiously loud and intruding on my peace of mind!”.
Respect your neighbours, folks. They don’t want to hear your music. They don’t want to hear your dogs barking. And they sure as shit don’t want to hear you talking to your dickhead friends about inane bollocks.
So, yeah, through all the heat and booze and noise, here are some of my recent cultural adventures…
CLASSIC UNIVERSAL MONSTERS
I’m not a horror fan. I don’t know why, as it seems fun. Same with Halloween every year. I wish I could get excited about both, but I just can’t. Still, the classic Universal monster movies of the 1930s and 40s are super-cute and are helping me relax. There’s a camp, simplistic, earnest charm to them that is very endearing. Sadly, there’s also a ton of vintage sexism and repression on full display. Sometimes the latter on purpose to tell a period tale, but they serve to remind me that we live in a society where people believe they have the right to tell another person what that person can and cannot do with their own body. Sigh. Still, I’ve collected up five boxsets, which will certainly give me plenty to be getting on with! I’ve started on Dracula and The Wolf Man, although I did see the first Frankenstein, Invisible Man, and The Mummy movies ages ago as a matter of cinematic dedication. I was surprised to find I was already familiar with the “lesbian seduction” scene from Dracula’s Daughter, which features in the documentary The Celluloid Closet. It’s not really a seduction with “gay panic” overtones, it’s just about a vampire who wants to suck some blood. But, hey, people love getting up in arms about stuff. Still, it’s pretty sexy, if you want to read it that way. Let me know which is your favourite classic Universal monster!
AGE VERIFICATION
This disease of privacy-invasion, which the UK government set in motion this year, has begun spreading from app to app. I’ve just cancelled my PS Plus subscription out of protest, and will be cancelling other paid subscriptions should they demand my face to be scanned in order to use their services. Fuck this shit. Apple, I’ve had an account with you for two decades, why would you think I’m under 18?! I suggested a protest slogan: “TRUST OUR PARENTING, NOT YOUR SPYING!”. I don’t have kids, but I assume many UK parents are offended by the government taking such duties out of their hands. I’m preparing to go largely “off the grid”, should I not be allowed to watch films or listen to music online anymore. I have stand-alone DVD/Blu-ray players, and have even just purchased a simple boombox, just in case even Spotify wants to invade my privacy too. It’s coming, I just know it. I’m not usually a paranoid anti-government conspiracy theorist, but I now understand why stuff like this sets some fellow mentally ill people off. Remember when the internet used to be fun? No, me neither. If you can recommend a brand/model of basic mobile phone, with no internet access or camera, then I’d love your help battling this dark new cloud of oppression.
DUNCANVILLE
On the lighter side of life, I’ve gotten back into Amy Poehler’s charming animated sitcom. It seems that it died a death after three seasons, probably due to Poehler being allegedly difficult to work with. I mean, even her BFF Tina Fey made her sound somewhat unpleasant in Fey’s autobiography. I also believe Poehler is why half the cast of Inside Out walked instead of returning for the sequel. Saying all of this, three seasons is a perfect length for any comedy show. To quote Mr Tyrell in Blade Runner: “The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long!”. Maybe Roy Batty was quoting from something else, but I’m not smart enough to know where. Since watching the first season back during the pandemic, I’m now more familiar with Ty Burrell due to Modern Family, so it’s been an extra-joy in revisiting this show. He is now one of my all-time favourite people, which is a coveted title indeed! The show has sporadic moments of surrealism, which one could accuse of being inconsistent, but I’ll take that over straight-laced, broad, unimaginative tripe any day of the week. I’m currently working my way through Season 2 and taking it very slow, as if I’m savouring a fine wine. It’s fun hearing the odd Parks & Recreation alumni pop up, including a direct reference to Leslie Knope herself! The show quickly abandons its initial premise of being all about the titular “Duncan”, resting back on standard middle-class-white-nuclear-family territory, but I guess that’s okay. Sort of. There are other types of family units in the world, you know. Even single, disabled, mentally ill shut-ins. Cough. Where’s their hilarious sitcom?! Nothing’s stopping me from writing it, I guess.
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
I’ve got a potential blog series in the works regarding this man and his music, so brace yourselves for that! As an icon of American culture and not British, it’ll either be a massive-fucking-chore or an eye-opening delight. I shan’t say more here, other than I was meant to start it just before my birthday. Then the drinking started. And then the heatwave. And then the more drinking. I’m resurfacing now though, so hopefully things will get moving just the second I can type without my laptop electrocuting me. We shall see…
Well, I think I’ve ranted and raved and offended enough for now. I’ve had a hearty dinner and need a siesta. I should really go out for a vigorous walk, but, you know, there are people out there. Did you know about this?! Good grief.
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
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