Framed to Perfection L (50)

ZINDY, EL FUGITIVO DE LOS PANTANOS (1973)

Director: René Cardona

Cinematographer: Miguel Arana

Half jungle stock footage compilation. Half commercial for a canoe company. All disgusting.

If you ever need to talk a friend or family member out of pursuing a life of rural self-sufficiency, this is the film to show them. Goodness knows when it’s supposed to be set, but the 1970s permeates every frame like a lawn sprinkler loaded with hot diarrhoea. I believe we all now agree that it was the decade that taste and style forgot. Right? RIGHT?! Right.

Based on the listed filming locations, this appears to be a Guatemalan film, but poorly dubbed into American-English. At least, the version I watched is. You can only imagine how much more charming it would be with its original language track on. Why foreign distributors think it’s a good idea to dub little boys with middle-aged women is beyond me.

The Mysterious Cities of Gold taught is that kids can be voiced by actors their own age!

I’m also pretty sure this is one of those scenarios where the English dubbing team didn’t have a translation to work with, so just fucking winged it. But, hey, it was the 70s after all, and “winging it” was the motto of that decade.

Sorry, but being a child of the 80s means we’re mortal enemies. Damn 70s with its stupid hair and ill-fitting clothes and sleazy disco music!

I’m struggling to think of something to say about the actual film itself, but there really isn’t anything. It feels like a random episode of a long-running period TV series for really, really, really bored families. You know, the sort that usually sit around a candle in wonder of its technological brilliance. The relationship between the titular orphan and his grandpa is cute, I guess, and not at all creepy. The bleak ending’s a surprise, but I’ll leave that as a little treat for you. I suppose it must have been a massive pain-in-the-arse for all the actors to clamber around in the swamp or jungle or rainforest or sound stage or whatever, so kudos to the performers for that.

Avoid if you suffer from arachnophobia, as I do. Or just stare down at your feet and pray until the opening hunting scene is over.

Seriously.

Do stay in touch, swamp urchins.

Toodles!