The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018) - film review

So what’s with all the anthology films of late?! First this, then Wes Anderson did a couple. I’m sure there are more that I can’t think of right now, although I’m not all that clued up on recent releases. Anthologies are no bad thing, of course, as you get multiple films for the price of one!

Bargain, mate. Bargain.

In a possibly-negative light, one could compare The Coen Brothers to the aforementioned Wes Anderson and perhaps also Woody Allen and Tim Burton, in that you pretty much know what you’re going to get when you pay for your ticket. Therefore, in my mind, there’s no rush to see their work. But you know you’ll get around to them eventually. Well, perhaps not Tim Burton, as his gaudy disasters have apparently put some people off watching films altogether. Or even just having the ability of sight itself!

A little melodramatic of me, but I’m sure you get the idea.

The life of a movie buff is a complicated one nowadays. If there’s something you want to watch, you first have to go to IMDb, find the listing of the film you desire, click on “Company Credits” from the “All topics” tab, then scroll down to the list of the film’s distributors. This is not an exaggeration, as I now do this every time something grabs my interest. Otherwise I simply wouldn’t know where in the hell the film is available, thanks to the dizzying amount of streaming outlets. A certain streaming service beginning with “N” is pushing The Ballad of Buster Scruggs hard. If you search for a title and they don’t have it, the first alternative they offer you is this. I don’t know where I’m going with this, but, after only being signed up to said streaming service for a week, I’m sick of seeing the poster art for The Ballad of Buster Scruggs already.

First world problems, am I right?!

Hmm, is that even politically correct anymore? I’m sure it’s not, as what is these days?! Do let me know if and what I need to change it to and I probably won’t bother.

Anyway, when I sat down to watch The Ballad of Buster Scruggs this morning, I knew nothing about it. Not being in the mind for any film in particular, this was a great opportunity to try out a wild card! Was this going to be one of the Coens’ fun genre pictures, or one of their punishing exercises in depth of human misery?! I’d say it’s a little of both, whilst veering slightly to the latter. But I didn’t know this at the time, as the title sounded light-hearted to me, so I pressed play.

Then fucking Tim Blake Nelson started singing.

Sigh.

So very close was I to backing out and going for my bath instead. But I thought: “Come on, Jim, he’s not that bad. And maybe he’s just the narrator for other goings on involving less irritating actors!”. And so I persevered. Fortunately so, as it didn’t take long for me to find out that this was, in fact, a series of vignettes set in the Old West.

I do wonder whether the brothers set out to make an anthology, or whether they simply had a collection of unfinished screenplays or excised scenes from previous works that they felt would all work together, albeit apart. There’s probably an interview with them or trivia information online somewhere that would confirm or deny this, but who honestly has the time?!

Usually, because my withering eyesight now precludes me from being able to read opening credits, I usually hop over to my laptop and check the cast and crew list online, with the help of my trusty magnification software. Well, not my software, as it comes as standard nowadays, but I really couldn’t figure out how to construct the previous sentence better. Where was I?! Oh yes! But with The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, I decided to play a little game. Being familiar the stable of actors The Coen Brothers usually put in their films, similar to the practices of Wes Anderson and Woody Allen and Tim Burton (I’m not going anywhere in continually mentioning them, so don’t get excited), would I be able to recognise them in a film that is surely to bury their faces under period makeup and costumes?

Well, as it turns out, the brothers cast for the characters and not professional courtesy this time. 

So, as far as I could tell, there’s no Francis McDormand, no Steve Buscemi, no John Turturro or Goodman, no George Clooney, no Jeff Bridges, and not a single Josh Brolin anywhere to be seen or heard.

RIP Jon Polito.

Actually, I did think Brad Pitt had turned up in the Gal Who Got Rattled segment, but that was somebody else.

Who did I recognise then?! Well, apart form the obvious Nelson, I caught Clancy Brown (unusual, really, as he’s so good at transforming himself!), Liam Neeson (he just needed to groan meaningfully and I knew it was him!), Tyne Daly (still full of vigour and sex appeal at 72!), and Brendan Gleeson (looking rather gaunt, so I dearly hope the chap is alright!). I’m sad I missed the great Stephen Root and Tom Waits, but relieved I did miss the dreary James Franco.

Yes, we get it, you look like James Dean.

Now let’s all move along.

I’m amazed I managed to take a break halfway through The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, as it is very engaging indeed. I stopped during The Gal Who Got Rattled, as, having been lured into the sweet romance on display, I knew something tragic was looming. I shan’t say much more, but I’m glad I gathered my emotional strength with a short kitty nap to take on the eventual challenge.

Similar to how I described Francis Ford Coppola’s Megalopolis, The Balled of Buster Scruggs feels almost beyond criticism. A professional film reviewer once said, I paraphrase, that in a perfect world, every film would be made by The Coen Brothers. I personally wouldn’t go that far, as sometimes their mannered dialogue wears me down, but that alternate universe certainly would be a good place to start. The Ballad of Buster Scruggs encapsulates a bountiful range of human emotions in its quirky little tales: joy, loneliness, grief, amusement, fear, revulsion, and confusion. Whatever the Coens wanted to say with this film for sure, I do not know, but it feels like a meditation on the uncertainty of life. Funny really, as a couple of years after the film’s release, the phrase “uncertain times” would be used in the media to tiresome effect.

Hmm, what else do I have to say?! Oh yes, Harry Melling and Zoe Kazan both captured my heart with their meek characters and worried expressions. The final segment baffled the hell out of me, but I’m guessing it was supposed to (I’m sure it’s a biblical allegory or some such bollocks). I’m glad the brothers have found a new cinematographer, as I always find Roger Deakins’ lighting much too sharp for my taste. I’m sure he’s a lovely fellow though.

And I think that’s it! I wasn’t too sure I’d actually have much to say about The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, but it seems I’ve done pretty well. I’m just curious now to see if we get anymore anthologies by other filmmakers.

I wonder what a segment about me and my sad little adventures would be called?! 

Don’t answer that.

But do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

Screen Choons: A Playlist

What an odd subject for a post, but let us hold hands and journey through it together. Who knows, maybe we will come out the other side stronger people for the experience!

As an excuse to listen to the original 1980s Baywatch theme song, I decided to cobble together a “cheesy tunes” playlist on Spotify. This simple project promptly got out of control. Indeed the opening few tracks do tie in nicely with that original theme, but it then continues on into more sombre and haunting territory, before coming back around for a grand conclusion. I believe I started the list a couple of years ago, taking a great deal of time over it, then promptly forgot it existed.

Then, after pinging a friend the link as it tied in with a discussion about the Tim Burton Batman movies, I thought I best give the thing a full listen, just in case I owed the recipient an apology.

Much to my surprise, the list was actually pretty solid, with a strong narrative and no awkward musical left turns. I may still tweak the odd thing here and there, but, as it stands, I’m actually quite proud of it. Pretty much all the tracks are pop songs with lyrics, but there are a handful of instrumentals sprinkled throughout. These latter songs are also still performed on “rock instruments”, instead of a standard film score orchestra.

The choices are taken from pretty much every genre of film, television, and video games, from cute family cartoons to harrowing war dramas. It also covers most genres of music, although nothing too avant garde. It actually would have made a good musical educational for a teenage me, had someone else compiled it and handed it down. With that in mind, I’m sure it will be of no use to the more musically experienced of you.

If you’re interested, you can find it here.

Since much thought and time was put into the a narrative running order, you will be missing out if you hit that shuffle button. Plus, if you do, I will be disappointed. Not angry. Just disappointed. I’m telling a story through music, even though there’s no plot to the story. It just is.

Good grief, when did I become that person?!

Admittedly, it is lacking certain songs that I would usually consider “essential”, but I have a silly rule about not including the same songs on multiple playlists. I do not know why this is so, but that decision seems to keep me from going insane somehow.

I have, however, included both versions of “Somewhere Out There” from An American Tale. This was done on purpose, as the adorable film version sounds like more of an introduction to the bigger production that follows. I’m guessing the latter was released as a single. I think they both work well together, as they have such differing styles.

The final track would usually go on my LOL songs playlist, but it’s so sweet and sincere that I felt it might make a nice coda to the who thing. A bit like “Her Majesty” at the end of Abbey Road.

Plus Megan Mullally’s awesome!

Well, that didn’t hurt now, did it? I’m also planning a rather intimidating series of posts about music that has been important to me throughout my life, but, since it may up being rather upsetting to write, I may just chicken out and do a stock “my favourite albums” sort of thing.

I shall have one of my classic thinks about it

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

The Batman (2022) - film review

Well, that’s 3 hours of my life I’m never getting back!

Okay, 2 hours 56 minutes, to be precise. But let’s just keep rounding it up to 3 hours, shall we? Yes, 3 hours experiencing writer-director Matt Reeves have his cake and eat it.

Part predictable serial killer thriller. Part leaden political drama. Part Tim Burton’s Batman. Part Christopher Nolan’s Batman. Part Brian De Palma’s Snake Eyes.

It’s also a lesson in what it’s like to suffer from nyctalopia, also known as “night blindness”. There are light sources present, but no light.

Hmm, perhaps that’s supposed to be a heavy-handed metaphor for Gotham City’s institutionalised corruption. Wait, isn’t corruption intrinsically institutionalised?! Answers on a postcard!

I’ve lived 3 years without knowing The Batman existed, which I was fine with. What? Yet another reboot?! This time by the guy who did two-out-of-three Planet of the Apes movies?! Starring the goth-icon from Twilight?! And they grittily try desperately not to name the heroes and villains blah blah blah I could see it all unfolding in my head with the least amount of effort.

Not interested.

Then, just as I was about to go to bed this evening, I thought: “Hey, just for a laugh, let’s give the first 10 minutes of that new Batman a try, then give up and get some much-deserved shuteye!”.

3 hours later…

A lofty shoutout for Michael Giacchino, surely the hardest working person in Hollywood right now. I’m guessing that man doesn’t get a minute’s sleep. He just lives and breathes great film compositions, as if he’s made some sort of Faustian deal. It feels like every time I watch a new release and enjoy the music the following happens: “Hey, this movie has a great score! I wonder who the comp… oh it’s Michael again”.

Bless.

I’m not complaining, Mr Giacchino, so please keep those hits coming!

I dunno, The Batman is basically just a jumble of things you’ve seen before, only impossible to see this time. Is that technically “irony”? I’ll ask whatserface. You know, the singer who doesn’t know what irony means. I’m sure she’ll be a ton of help.

I guess The Batman is worth your time. You’ll see him using grappling hooks. You’ll see him getting into a lot of fist fights. You’ll see him in a car chase. You’ll see him disappearing mid-conversation. You’ll see him kissing Catwoman. You’ll see Andy Serkis giving an embarrassing bedridden confessional worthy of the most pathetic of tabloid talk shows.

Peter Woodthorpe’s Gollum was better than yours, Andy. I want you to know this.

A special mention needs to go out to Jeffrey Wright, Paul Dano, and John Turturro, all of whom make these 2 hours 56 minutes less of a chore.

Now, let’s have a bit more of a breather before the next reboot, shall we?!

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

The Whittling Post Digest - Issue 15

Due to my frustratingly fluid interests AKA short attention span, which can change severely over the course of a single day, signing up for a long-term membership (a month is long for me), be it gym or streaming service, is not in my best interest. So, apart form those services for which I am confident I will use regularly, such as Spotify and YouTube and Audible, I am practically streaming service free. However, films and TV shows do get recommended to me, either directly or through passive social osmosis, so I keep a list of cultural items to cram into a month’s subscription. In the gaming world, people who like to take the fun out of things and apply peer pressure to others, would call this something similar to “save scumming”. Basically, a sensible way of going about a hobby that doesn’t earn you bragging rights. I am not an ambitious soul, so save scumming or online auction sniping or stream service cramming or whatever you want to call it is of no consequence to me. I do what I gotta do, you do what you gotta do. Ne’er the twain shall meet!

So, to get to my point, over the next month these digests will include a few items that I’ve come across while browsing a well-known steaming service that begins with an “N”. I’m sure they have a marketing department that is paid to push their brand, so, being a supporter of job creationism, I shall not take their work away from them.

Let us, indeed, flick the net!

THE DARK CRYSTAL: AGE OF RESISTANCE

The relief I felt when I fired up this television miniseries and found it to be filled with practical puppets and not DGI monstrosities cannot be captured in words. But it was a pretty intense feeling, I can at least communicate that much. I was also surprised to hear Sigourney Weaver as our narrator, although the weighty tome she is required to prattle through is pretty joyless and painful. That’s not her fault though. But, yes, any Child of the 80s, such as myself, will know of The Dark Crystal movie. It and Labyrinth was when muppets went dark. And we fucking loved it. My generation has been hungry for more, be it in the form of sequels or comic book continuations or stage musicals or street theatre, wee don’t care. Just give us more evil muppets and shut up. So, finally, after about 40-long-years, we got our wish. I don’t have much to say thus far, as I have officially only watched about 10 minutes of the first episode to check that it was the right thing, but I’m sure there’ll be a follow-up to this rambling paragraph. Now all we need is an actor who can do a really good David Bowie impersonation (I’m looking at you, Jemaine Clement) and a production company with enough cash to lure back Jennifer Connolly and we’re on our way to Labyrinth: The Return!

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000: THE RETURN

Speaking of returns. It is of comfort to note that, whether through television reruns or physical distribution of old episodes or new revivals, MST3K will be around forever. It’s just a concept that works. I’m sure that fans, in this amateur podcasting age of ours, make their own versions of the MST3K format, but there’s nothing quite like watching somebody else sitting down to make sarcastic remarks about a movie, good or bad, that just takes itself too seriously. It seems the creator of the original, Joel Hodgson, bought back the rights to MST3K and, in a show of magnanimous restraint, decided to let a new generation of kids take over. He does show up now and then, apparently, but he is very much taking a backstage role this time. For some, this incarnation didn’t last very long, signifying some sort of failure. A mere 5 years. But I say this is long enough. Brevity is the soul of wit, as the man said. Any sitcom lasting after about four or five seasons is only going to go downhill in the most depressing of ways. Society as a whole wouldn’t still be talking about Caroline in the City and NewsRadio if it weren’t for their brief tenure. Okay, bad examples. Anyway, apart from its dull Joel stand-in, Jonah Whatsisname (Joel was dull, but in a fascinating way), the cast is solid, with the delightful Patron Oswalt batting cleanup admirably. Felicia Day, the Dr Forrester stand-in to Oswalt’s Frank stand-in, sings the “I’ll send him cheesy movies” part of the theme tune in such a Sean Young-sultry way that it cemented (as graphic as I’m prepared to be) my interest in watching more. What?! I’m only human. Actually, most of the music in the new title sequence is mixed-down bizarrely low, which was a bad decision. I mean, we all love singing along to that song, right?! I don’t believe there are many episodes of this revival available anymore, so I started off on Season 2 with Mac and Me (which actually looks surprisingly good, perhaps even worthy of a revisionist review). There are plenty of laugh out loud moments, but so far I’m missing the likability of a bunch of late-80s schlubby nerds. Just like my problem with Mad Max: Fury Road missing the dangerous-charm of Mel Gibson, apparently Joel, Trace, Kevin, and Frank brought more to the party than just the concept and jokes. Only time will tell if my fondness level increases or not.

PROMISE MASCOT AGENCY

This adorable video game was recommended to me by my longtime gaming-buddy-turned-pen-pal, who, like me, isn’t terribly into games steeped in physical conflict and anxiety-inducing time limits. We both seek peace in this short life of ours, which Promise Mascot Agency appears to be a useful weapon in defending. It’s essentially a work simulator, where you have to revive a dying business and regenerate the crumbling district of a broader city. There are no button-mashing brawls. No time limits. No car chases. And no big bosses. Well, as far as I know. You just drive around being nice to people. Why the flip aren’t all games like this?! I’m not usually a fan of work simulators, as, being an adult, the last thing I want to do after a day’s work is sit down to even more work. Work simulators are for kids, basically. Kids who have no commitments or dependents and are generally shoved from bed to breakfast to bath to school to dinner and back to bed again. I’d have loved work simulators when I was little, as I was rubbish at being a kid. But now I’ve actually felt the sting of a hard day’s work, so otherworldly pleasures call to me. Saying that, I’ve been dependant on handouts for quite awhile now, so perhaps that’s why work simulators are starting to appeal to me again. I’d like to make a contribution to society again, just not in the real world. Maybe I should start a cultural review blog. I jokingly call this game “Promise Escort Agency”, as I believe it is really set in the world of prostitution. But it’s trying desperately not to say that explicitly. Instead, you send yokai to birthday parties, rather than hookers to, erm, “birthday parties”. Either way, it’s cute enough not to feel sleazy or depressing, and at least acknowledges the oldest profession in the world without being judgmental. Or not too judgmental. I guess not being judgmental at all would require just being open about what the game is implying. Hopefully I will commit to more game hours and provide you fine folk with further reports!

HIGH-RISE INVASION

Somewhere between The Prisoner (1967) and Predators (2010) lies High-Rise Invasion, a potential short story crammed into a mere-12 episodes of anime. Actually, the series performs more like a survival horror video game, to the point where I kept expecting the camera to drop into a third-person POV and a quest marker to loom somewhere off in the distance. For a simple story about (deep breath!) a young girl finding herself thrown into an alternate universe with access only to the upper-floors and roofs of skyscrapers while brainwashed masked assailants try to coax her into committing suicide, there’s a surprising amount going on in High-Rise Invasion. I’m already passed the second episode, which, for me and my short attention span, is pretty good going. I often struggle with post-90s anime, as they all seem more like tongue-in-cheek pastiches of earlier works. To me, there used to be an organic quality to films or shows or OAVs that featured coquettish schoolgirls running around in distress. Now it feels more like: “Hey, remember how silly those old anime were with schoolgirls running around in distress?! Let’s do that, but ironically!”. Hmm, I guess I could have shortened that point to just saying there’s an ironic quality to modern anime, but who has the time?! Anyway, despite my usual prejudice against most modern anime, High-Rise Invasion feels pleasantly genuine and lacking irony or cynicism. Sometimes the action is a little frustrating, with characters standing still during a tense moment discussing internally or to others about their feelings, rather than running and hiding, but it’s fine. I’m curious and slightly anxious about what the remaining ten episodes will do with the story, but so far I really am appreciating the minimalist tone of it all. I just hope it doesn’t go completely off the rails with epic mecha battles. Hey, remember how silly old anime were with epic mecha battles?!

Well, that’s all for now. I’m sure I’ll have another digest’s worth of bollocks to whittle on about soon enough, so stay tuned! I may also start watching Magnum Force later, so hopefully that review will be up by the weekend. Don’t hold me to that though.

If you have any recommendations for films or shows to watch on said well-known-streaming-services-beginning-with-“N”, then please drop me a comment below. I’m so terribly lonely!

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!

The Whittling Post Digest - Issue 14

Golly, I’m sober enough now to realise how much awesome shit is surrounding me in my depressing little man-cave! Just can’t find enough hours in the day to get through it all. My attention span is also notoriously short, so I’m dashing form cultural milestone to cultural milestone without hardly taking a breather! With any luck, I’ll be able to report scraps of it all here. I’m sure I’ve forgotten a whole lot, but the next issue will surely sort that out.

Behold!

PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED

Ah yes, the version of Back to the Future for anyone who doesn’t find DeLoreans cool. Those 1%ers, I guess. What sad lives they must lead! I’m about two-thirds of the way through this, admittedly slow, melodrama. I’m not sure why I’ve taken another one of those classic hiatuses of mine, as it’s engaging enough. I suppose it is one of Francis Ford Coppola’s more toothless of films. That is, unless there’s a John Woo-style shootout towards the end. But I hardly doubt it. The cast is flawless though. I mean, every film would be a masterpiece if they all starred Kathleen Turner, Nicholas Cage, Helen Hunt, and Barbara Harris. Oh Babs, why did you quit acting?! You truly are one of my all-time favourite people! Apparently, like Rick Moranis. she simply did not care to do it anymore. I wish John Mayer would have the same epiphany. It’s a shame Harris isn’t playing one of her signature eccentrics here, instead being underused as a straight-laced 1950s Stepford wife. I know it’s set in 1960, but you get what I mean. Anyway, I’m hoping to finish Peggy Sue Got Married later on today, once I’m a little more with it. I shall let you know if there’s any balletic action.

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000

I honestly couldn’t tell you if MST3K was broadcast on British television back in the day at all, although I suspect it was very briefly, but the episodes are pretty much all on YouTube now. I’m hoping they fall under and stay under YT’s “fair usage” policy. Plus, well, the show is an important cultural landmark, so it’d be cruel to remove it. I almost want to call it “the first true modern sitcom”, as the jokes are sharp and intelligent, and technically the presenters are playing fictional characters in a comedic situation. Sorry, Seinfeld, but you’ve been demoted! I’m not looking forward to running out of Joel Hodgson episodes, as Mike Nelson seems pretty charmless. While there’s a stoner quality to Joel, he is very cute and charismatic in a strangely low-energy sort of way. My favourite episode so far (out of the ones I’ve found thus far, at least) has been Space Travellers AKA Marooned, methinks. What’s yours?!

ROBOCOP: ROGUE CITY

Mercifully based on Paul Verhoeven’s original 1987 film, rather than the apparently-blah reboot. I can’t say for sure whether it is indeed blah, but I will never know. For I will never watch it, so there! Anyway, yeah, this first-person shooter is keeping me occupied so far. I’m at the first shootout, which is a little tricky for me, but most things are these days. I’ll just keep chipping away at it, even if I never get beyond level one. Or XP 1 or whatever the damn kids are calling it nowadays. I think Peter (nearly said “Paul” there!) Weller reprises his role, although there’s no Nanny Allen to be found anywhere. Alas! She’s one of my favourite tomboys and everything. The first, and possibly only, main villain is rather cartoony, like a comic book supervillain, but I’m sure the developers knew what they were doing. Erm…

HIGH ON LIFE

A cute video game with some sharp teeth! It has a Plants vs. Zombies-vibe to it, only with more swearing and drug taking. Justin Roiland does a bunch of voices, in particular your talking-weapon, who funnily enough sounds suspiciously like Morty. You know, from Rick and Morty. Fine by me, as Morty’s adorable, so having him stuttering nervously into my ears for hours on end is perfectly acceptable. Haven’t got too far as yet, surprise-surprise, but I doubt it’ll be long before I give up. While the universe of the game is creative, colourful, and joyfully obscene, the visuals are a little too busy for my eyesight to cope with. Maybe I’ll just watch a play through of it on YT. We shall see.

LILO & STITCH 2

Never has a 1 hour and 5 minute film, direct-to-video or otherwise, taken me so long to get through! Think it’s been a week of 3 minutes shifts now. Got about 15 mins left. It’s not bad, per se, it just feels like it’s made up of cut scenes from the original, which I’ve watched about five times now since discovering it the other month. I actually re-bought it for the set that contained the two sequels. I believe the third film is an extended pilot for a Stitch solo spinoff. I wonder how Lilo feels about that. Hmmm. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll get it finished eventually. I shall endeavour to keep you all updated on these very important events!

DIERENFREAK

Cannot get this song out of my head today. Not even with an ancient Egyptian mummy-brain scoop. Think I’ve nearly got the dance moves down to a T though. My inspiration is the second dancer from the right, who is a very skilled performer indeed. Think they’ve got a future there! Not sure whether it’s a boy or a girl, but who does in these genderfluid times?! Answer’s on a postcard to…

Right, that’s all for now. I’ve got hte second Harry Callahan film to psych myself up for. I remember preferring the sequels actually, so hopefully this series of posts won’t be too much of a slog. Only time and effort will tell!

Do stay in touch, citizens.

Toodles!