Golly, I’m sober enough now to realise how much awesome shit is surrounding me in my depressing little man-cave! Just can’t find enough hours in the day to get through it all. My attention span is also notoriously short, so I’m dashing form cultural milestone to cultural milestone without hardly taking a breather! With any luck, I’ll be able to report scraps of it all here. I’m sure I’ve forgotten a whole lot, but the next issue will surely sort that out.
Behold!
PEGGY SUE GOT MARRIED
Ah yes, the version of Back to the Future for anyone who doesn’t find DeLoreans cool. Those 1%ers, I guess. What sad lives they must lead! I’m about two-thirds of the way through this, admittedly slow, melodrama. I’m not sure why I’ve taken another one of those classic hiatuses of mine, as it’s engaging enough. I suppose it is one of Francis Ford Coppola’s more toothless of films. That is, unless there’s a John Woo-style shootout towards the end. But I hardly doubt it. The cast is flawless though. I mean, every film would be a masterpiece if they all starred Kathleen Turner, Nicholas Cage, Helen Hunt, and Barbara Harris. Oh Babs, why did you quit acting?! You truly are one of my all-time favourite people! Apparently, like Rick Moranis. she simply did not care to do it anymore. I wish John Mayer would have the same epiphany. It’s a shame Harris isn’t playing one of her signature eccentrics here, instead being underused as a straight-laced 1950s Stepford wife. I know it’s set in 1960, but you get what I mean. Anyway, I’m hoping to finish Peggy Sue Got Married later on today, once I’m a little more with it. I shall let you know if there’s any balletic action.
MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000
I honestly couldn’t tell you if MST3K was broadcast on British television back in the day at all, although I suspect it was very briefly, but the episodes are pretty much all on YouTube now. I’m hoping they fall under and stay under YT’s “fair usage” policy. Plus, well, the show is an important cultural landmark, so it’d be cruel to remove it. I almost want to call it “the first true modern sitcom”, as the jokes are sharp and intelligent, and technically the presenters are playing fictional characters in a comedic situation. Sorry, Seinfeld, but you’ve been demoted! I’m not looking forward to running out of Joel Hodgson episodes, as Mike Nelson seems pretty charmless. While there’s a stoner quality to Joel, he is very cute and charismatic in a strangely low-energy sort of way. My favourite episode so far (out of the ones I’ve found thus far, at least) has been Space Travellers AKA Marooned, methinks. What’s yours?!
ROBOCOP: ROGUE CITY
Mercifully based on Paul Verhoeven’s original 1987 film, rather than the apparently-blah reboot. I can’t say for sure whether it is indeed blah, but I will never know. For I will never watch it, so there! Anyway, yeah, this first-person shooter is keeping me occupied so far. I’m at the first shootout, which is a little tricky for me, but most things are these days. I’ll just keep chipping away at it, even if I never get beyond level one. Or XP 1 or whatever the damn kids are calling it nowadays. I think Peter (nearly said “Paul” there!) Weller reprises his role, although there’s no Nanny Allen to be found anywhere. Alas! She’s one of my favourite tomboys and everything. The first, and possibly only, main villain is rather cartoony, like a comic book supervillain, but I’m sure the developers knew what they were doing. Erm…
HIGH ON LIFE
A cute video game with some sharp teeth! It has a Plants vs. Zombies-vibe to it, only with more swearing and drug taking. Justin Roiland does a bunch of voices, in particular your talking-weapon, who funnily enough sounds suspiciously like Morty. You know, from Rick and Morty. Fine by me, as Morty’s adorable, so having him stuttering nervously into my ears for hours on end is perfectly acceptable. Haven’t got too far as yet, surprise-surprise, but I doubt it’ll be long before I give up. While the universe of the game is creative, colourful, and joyfully obscene, the visuals are a little too busy for my eyesight to cope with. Maybe I’ll just watch a play through of it on YT. We shall see.
LILO & STITCH 2
Never has a 1 hour and 5 minute film, direct-to-video or otherwise, taken me so long to get through! Think it’s been a week of 3 minutes shifts now. Got about 15 mins left. It’s not bad, per se, it just feels like it’s made up of cut scenes from the original, which I’ve watched about five times now since discovering it the other month. I actually re-bought it for the set that contained the two sequels. I believe the third film is an extended pilot for a Stitch solo spinoff. I wonder how Lilo feels about that. Hmmm. Anyway, I’m sure I’ll get it finished eventually. I shall endeavour to keep you all updated on these very important events!
DIERENFREAK
Cannot get this song out of my head today. Not even with an ancient Egyptian mummy-brain scoop. Think I’ve nearly got the dance moves down to a T though. My inspiration is the second dancer from the right, who is a very skilled performer indeed. Think they’ve got a future there! Not sure whether it’s a boy or a girl, but who does in these genderfluid times?! Answer’s on a postcard to…
Right, that’s all for now. I’ve got hte second Harry Callahan film to psych myself up for. I remember preferring the sequels actually, so hopefully this series of posts won’t be too much of a slog. Only time and effort will tell!
Do stay in touch, citizens.
Toodles!
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