Much to my chagrin, spring has finally sprung in deepest, usually-darkest Sheffield. This means sunlight. And sunlight means I can’t see my damn television screen. If you throw in a pre-existing eye condition, then you’ll understand why I’d like to invert my sleep pattern so that I’m awake at night instead. I guess I could just buy blackout curtains, but who honestly has the time?! Still, I’m trying to get some culture vulturing done, even though being on the top floor of a block of flats means the sun is constantly in my frigging face. At the very least, I’m managing to stay off the bottle. Think it’s been about a month now.
The following items of pop culture are not helping my long road to recovery…
INLAND EMPIRE
Now that the world is falling apart due to his death, I thought I’d sit down to watch David Lynch’s final film. Made 19 years before his death, this period of time is, along with John Carpenter’s retirement from the industry, an example of how much of a pain in the arse it is to get a film made in Hollywood. I haven’t gotten far yet, perhaps only half an hour in, but so far it’s all reassuringly Lynchian stuff. Meaning “weird”. I stopped at the point I did, because I had started watching it a little late in the evening and wasn’t terribly convinced I would be able to get to the end of its near-3 hour runtime in one session. And I would like to do it in one sitting. I guess I’ve failed already by going on hiatus, but at least I stopped as soon as I felt incapable of continuing. I shall endeavour to return to it and write a full review! This review will most likely include a lot of questions from myself.
PRE-HISTORY PODCAST
Ah pre-history, before the birth of the jerk who invented work and the open plan office. I really enjoy learning about a time before life got so complicated and, most importantly, before I was born. That was when the world really turned to shit. I’m guessing this podcast, spanning only 2 years, was something to do over the pandemic lockdown for its presenter. Well, thank goodness for Covid, because I’m totally hooked on this highly engrossing and detailed look at the time before humans put pen to paper. The presenter, who merely introduces herself as “Jane”, has a very gentle speaking voice, which comes as a refreshing change from the unnecessarily-animated historians I’ve listened to previously. The subject is exciting enough on its own, folks, you don’t need to liven it up! There are some fascinating things I’m learning, which I certainly didn’t pick up from the Cro-Magnon book I read, which did seem to waste a fair amount of time. In the Pre-History Podcast, there are no fictional interludes of early-man’s adventures about the untamed landscape, it’s just facts, facts, and more facts. Perfect! I really wish I’d gone into the history profession now, but it took me 40 years to figure out that I liked it that much. Sigh. I can’t get anything right.
ANIMANIACS
The first collection of this Warner Bros animated show has just arrived in the post. I don’t believe I watched much of it on its original run, but I’ve been meaning to track down a hardcopy ever since. The 90s was an incredibly subversive decade for animated shows. These shows were shown to kids, even though they really wouldn’t been approved by the kids’ parents. But they’re cartoons, right? So what could be inappropriate about them?! Well, everything, apart form the lack of strong language. The 80s had the best action-adventure cartoons, which all the writers involved must’ve gotten sick of towards the end, so they started to fuck around in the 90s. This was good news for teenagers such as myself, who were somewhat exhausted by the uptight Thatcherite society around them. Whereas the UK had Britpop and The Big Breakfast to mess with the establishment, America had Ren & Stimpy, Cow & Chicken, Hey Arnold, and Animaniacs. I mean, there’s a Goodfellas reference in there, for the sake of goodness! What well-behaved kid would get a joke about Goodfellas?! Love it. Love everything about it. I didn’t realise each episode of Animaniacs was actually divided up into three separate shorts, but this makes sense due to the titular three’s fast-paced screwing with the system. Many are just musical numbers. Onwards!
FUTURE MARATHON (continued)
Along with Animaniacs, the discs for my intended big-budget-flops-of-2024 marathon arrived today! So, perhaps tomorrow or the next day, sleep permitting, I shall be suffering: Borderlands, Madame Web, and Megalopolis. I’m quite excited/frightened, but life is pain, right? I’m also planning a dance movie marathon, featuring Footloose, Flashdance, Electric Boogaloo, and perhaps Dirty Dancing (if I can be bothered). Why do I do this to myself, you ask?! Well, I’ve quit booze, so something has to destroy my brain cells!
Right, that’s all the nonsense I’ve been up to over the last 48 hours. I best get back to experiencing all the artistic and not-so-artistic wonders out there that await me!
Do stay in touch, darlings.
Toodles!
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