Tuesday, 10 June 2025

Jim’s Analogue Noise Bunker - Transmission 11

The ambient room temperature is rising, thanks to nature, which means it’s a terrible, terrible time to record music. So, what am I doing?! Yes, recording music.


I get by on my looks.


After writing this upsetting post last Friday about my early attempts at sound recording (which now includes a contemporary picture of me beavering away), I genuinely spent the rest of the day crying on my bed. I hope you know I suffer for my art. Having now recovered from delving into my distressing past, which is indistinguishable from my distressing present or distressing future, I began wondering how my recordings would sound today.


Would they be more intricate and layered and proudly mature? Or would they be cacophonous rock dirges? You, dear reader, and myself, are soon to find out!


Begin the transmission!


A-MELODIC


There comes a time in every singer-songwriter/composer’s life, when they get fed up to the back teeth with the same old chords. I’ve been there. You’ve been there. Even Billy Joe Armstrong has probably been there, although I sincerely doubt it. After all, a chord is merely defined as the plucking or strumming or striking of more than one note at a time. You can really do anything with that. There is a committee formulated chord table though, which is generally used to create pleasing melodies when strung together, but you can just ignore that and go crazy, if you are so inclined. Just look at U2’s The Edge! He just does whatever. Bless. So, yeah, I’ve hit that inevitable wall regarding coming up with new instrumentals. I believe the biggest element of this problem is my procrastinating over actually recording the songs I do have. Once those are out of my head, I’ll be free (FREE!) to move on. Still, that hasn’t stopped me trying to make the ugliest sounds humanly possible on my beloved Larrivee D-03R dreadnaught. Oh Larrivee, I will never be able to remember your brandname as long as I live. It’s fun being chaotic with music, I must say, with the experience opening your mind up to what is possible out there. Which is anything! Major > minor > minor > major > major is nice and all, but sometimes you just gotta rub your wang up and down the fretboard to see what else comes out. It’ll be blood, mostly, so don’t do that, kids.


KEYBOARD


Ah my trusty Casio CTK-3500! It’s at that sweet spot for a performer such as myself. Not too cheap and not to expensive. If it was a bowl of porridge, there’d be a little blonde girl all the way up in its business. But there isn’t, just to be clear. The catchily named CTK-3500 (surely taking after Gretsch’s sexless numbering system) is chock-full of instrument emulations and sound effects. I intend to use them all. Not in a Ross-from-Friends sort of embarrassing way, but let’s not rule anything out. I’m certainly no trained pianist, although some have certainly said that about me behind my back. I merely transpose guitar chords over to the keys and hope to all that is good that I can remember them. I usually can’t, as my memory is akin to trying to carry water with a sieve. Nevertheless, it’s not like I’m performing live or anything, so I can take as much damn time as I damn well please. Richard D James fumbled through recording with a violin he found in a landfill, so surely I can do this. I have done this. The upcoming results will soon be available for your feverish consumption!


BUILDING A HOMEMADE STUDIO


Well, I finally ran out of excuses. I was having one of my classic existential anxiety attacks earlier in the evening and so I said quite reasonably to myself: “Jim, I think it’s time to start recording”. Sigh. I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this. People, including budding sound engineers, dress for a recording studio like an ice hockey player would dress for a particularly violent match. Padding. Lots of padding. And a helmet, which probably counts as “padding” anyway. And baby-proof the workspace, although you may not need to if you’re covered from head to toe in padding. Lots of padding. Hmm. So, yes, I finally dusted off my “new” mixing desk, which I haven’t actually used yet (besides making sure it works). My Digidesign MBox 2 (also known as the M-Box 2, Mbox 2, M Box 2, and the MBOX 2) input interface served me very well for decades, but I felt it was time to try out something more, you know, expansive. Throw in an assassin’s rifle flight case of high-end pro microphones I bought second-hand, and we have the next generation of my amateur sound engineering! This is pictured below. I also dug out mic stands. And leads. And more leads. I really should call them “cables”, but that feels like an Americanism. I may have to have my morning coffee in my bedroom for awhile, but we shall see how I get on. I’m not sure what time of the day to record in, either pre-or-post bath. I go through a very intense psychological transformation while soaking my naked body. There is a chance I am overthinking all of this, so I should just figure out how to press record and get the fuck on with it. I have the option of GarageBand and Audacity, in terms of software. I’ll probably go with the latter, as it’s less intuitive and doesn’t try to second-guess what you’re trying to do. I just prefer to be left alone with the manual and get on with things without an operating system trying to be “helpful”. Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a studio technician! Oh wait, no, I am. Can you imagine me being a doctor?! Sweet mercy. Another for the morgue, nurse!


Well, I’ve wasted enough time talking about recording than actually just recording, so I’ll do some rehearsing before bed then get going in the morrow. I’ve got an appointment in the afternoon, plus some personal admin to get done, so putting on some monitoring headphones and sticking jacks in sockets should make for a pleasant escape.


I’m actually quite excited. I’ve certainly typed away my anxiety attack, so thank you all for indulging me in my crazy for yet another post.


Do stay in touch, darlings.


Padding!




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