Philosophy of the World

For amateur souls everywhere…

Based on the practically-zero research I’ve done, as I wish to avoid other opinions and theories diluting my own, the story and timeline of the band The Shaggs and their notorious one and only album, Philosophy of the World, goes thusly…

1965, a desperate father shuts away his four young daughters, who are untrained and uninterested in the performing arts, to coerce them (I feel as though “forced” is rather too aggressive and dark a term to use for this light-hearted blog post) to write, perform, and record a pop album. Apparently, these actions are intended to satisfy their mother’s psychic prediction of her daughters’ future fame and fortune in the music industry. The album that emerges from these clueless sessions, is eventually given the grand title of: “Philosophy of the World”, and is somehow distributed nationwide, only to become known as one of the worst records ever made.

I don’t buy it, but I’ll play along.

1993, a singer-songwriter, by the name of Kurt Cobain, shockingly cites Philosophy of the World as one of his favourite albums. The young musician’s blond hair, blue eyes, and general bad boy charm, ensures that everyone suddenly decides that they like it too, thus the album becomes a cult classic.

2025, an alcoholic loser on a council estate in Sheffield, after indulging in ghoulish prurience to research bad rock albums, gives Philosophy of the World a couple of listens and begins to type some words about it for his downmarket blog that thankfully nobody reads.

What a ride!

So, yes, I have a few thoughts on the album itself, which are very positive indeed. The oddball origin story, however, doesn’t quite hold water for me.

Firstly, my cynicism is due to the simple fact that, well, they actually manage to finish recording the damn thing. As I’ve mentioned before, and as any seasoned musician will tell you, recording a musical performance is very difficult indeed. Once that red light goes on, you suddenly become aware of every muscle in your body and how they can potentially waste your expensive studio time. So, just the very fact that Philosophy of the World exists at all, leads me to believe that The Shaggs weren’t complete amateurs. Unless, of course, some generous soul surreptitiously taped their relaxed rehearsal sessions, which I wish somebody would do for me.

Secondly, the girls (and I’m referring to their ages at the time of recording, so hold-off on calling me any of the forty-thousand horrid words that get thrown so easily at men nowadays) play really well. I’m far too nervous and have too much of a short attention span to play in time, even with myself (steady!), but the four Wiggin girls keep it going tight for 12 songs. And, gosh darned it, they keep it going really well. I often end up in tears just trying to record one simple chord progression, even after 18-years of recording experience, and yet this was their first ever try?! Nah, that doesn’t sit right with me.

Thirdly, they’re actually really talented musicians, whom I believe are playing it dumb. The drummer may play the same simple rhythms over and over again, but she is playing recognisable rhythms. Sometimes, she’ll realise she’s not being amateurish enough, so throws in a clashing fill or two, but she still knows to throw in a fill or two. The same goes for the guitars. They’re not out of tune, they’re simply using alternate tunings. Which, most importantly, are all in tune with each other. Lead, rhythm, bass. Detuned but still in tune with the band as a whole. They also know how to plug in an electric guitar, turn on an amplifier, select a pickup, and create a pleasing tone. How would complete novices know how to do any of that?! They wouldn’t. The lead and rhythm guitarists also play a mix of chords, scales, and arpeggiated chords, often blending them into complex riffs. Strange riffs, sure, but still complex. This isn’t just chugga-chugga-chugga power chords, this is actually mature instrumental songwriting. I’ve only just started being able to do that sort of thing, and I started playing 21-years-ago.

Actually, that doesn’t make me sound so good.

The guitarists also seem to use subtle distortion and modulation here and there. An amateur would surely whack the effect up to full and use it incessantly for every song. But not with these noobs. No. They use their effects sparingly to the point where you almost don’t notice it. As a pro would.

Fourthly, we come to the singing. Sorry, but this is not how a teenage girl in 1965 would sing a song. These are the vocals of two very intelligent young women sick to their back-fucking-teeth with Beatlemania and want to make a statement about pop hysteria. Remember, in one year alone, The Beatles’ American record label released fourteen albums worth of material by the Liverpudlian foursome, even though the band would have only actually recorded one. The other thirteen, I’m guessing and hoping, have now been deleted for good, although most likely can be picked up for a fair few bob at a car boot sale somewhere on a Sunday afternoon. Even the lyrics of Philosophy of the World aren’t what a teenage girl would write about. I’d actually be concerned if a 5-year-old wrote bollocks as nonsensical as this. The Wiggin girls are trying to be off with what they’re saying. They’re tired of love songs and gentle melodies by pretty young men out for some quick cash. This is in-your-face randomness at its most perfect.

And I love it. I love all of it.

Whether they knew it or not, The Shaggs invented lo-fi noise-rock, lovingly embraced by Captain Beefheart, The Modern Lovers, Sonic Youth, Guided by Voices, Galaxie 500, Sebadoh, Kimya Dawson, and not enough other artists. It brings warmth to my heart and a tear to my eye. It breaks down what you think is “allowed” with music, freeing up your mind to do whatever you wish. I can only dream of recording something as monumentally beguiling as Philosophy of the World, although I intend to try!

My other theory about the album, which is mercifully short, is that it’s actually a failed Christian brainwashing album for small children, hence the infantile lyrics, repetitive and simplistic melodies, and the regular Christian moralising that keeps seeping in. But, I don’t know, I’m just not in the mood to go in that direction with whatever it is I’m doing here.

So, yeah, the bottom line from me is that Philosophy of the World is a harmless piece of counterculture, recorded amidst a raging sea of change in America. Sadly, for it and its four sisters, nobody back in 1965 got the joke. Give it a good listen and let me know what you think!

Do stay in touch, darlings.

Toodles!